What Cake Pops? It's . . . Cake Pops!

For today's article, we've decided to devote it to baking one thing in particular - Watermelon-shaped Cake Pops! But there are other types of cake pops you can make too. What a variety!

Hey there everyone, Lizzy the Lizard here and I'm in the kitchen with my younger sister, Lily. Did I mention that she would make a great chef someday? She watches cooking shows and reads recipe books. Lily is always asking if we could bake something, like cupcakes. Well today she plans on making a batch of watermelon-shaped cake pops with mom. It sounds delicious, can't wait to try them! I decided to ask why she wanted to bake today. "I'm always in a baking mood," she replied, "I just love to bake!" I decided to ask her what ingredients were needed. "You have to have 1 box of white cake mix (Betty Rocker super moist preferred, or you could make your own . . . but that's a whole other process!), 1/4 teaspoon of pink paste food coloring, 3/4 cup of vanilla frosting, 3/4 cup of mini semisweet chocolate chips, 32 lollipop sticks, 1 bag of candy melts, 1 large block white plastic foam, 1 bag (16 oz) of green candy melts, and 1 cup of light green candy melts," Lily the lizard said. "Hey do you mind teaching our readers how to make these delicious treats?" I asked her. "Well you start off by heating the overnight to 350 degrees and spraying a 13 by 9 inch pan with cooking spray. Make and bake the cake mix and use water, oil, and egg whites while adding pink paste food color. Then let the cake cool completely," said Lily. I watched as mom and Lily baked a cake an then laid it down on the counter to cool off. As the cake was chilling, Lily took a line cookie sheet with waxed paper and laid it down on another part of the counter. She checked the cake and then crumbled it up in a large bowl. "Why did you do that?" I asked, confused. "That's how you make the cake pops." Lily explained. She added frosting and the chocolate chips into the mix and stirred it up. "Here's a fun part to me!" she exclaimed. "You take some of the mix and you shape it into a ball or an oval. You should be able to get at least 32 of them. Then you place them carefully on the cookie sheet and freeze them until their firm by putting them in the freezer. Once firm, you transfer the balls into the refrigerator." Lily, mom, and I decided to watch a movie while we waited for the pops to become firm. "Here's were it gets harder to explain," said Lily, "I think mom can explain it better." My Mom was happy to explain (she was also pretty excited to be quoted for the newspaper too). "You remove the cake balls from the fridge," she told us. "Then dip the tip of one lollipop stick into the melted white candy and insert it into one cake ball, no more than halfway in. Then you dip each cake ball into the melted white candy and cover it. After that, you poke the other end of the stick into the foam block but we just used an empty shoe-box and poked holes into it. Do it with all of the other cake balls. Then let them sit in the fridge until their dry meaning until the candy melt has hardened. After that, dip the cake balls in the green candy melt and cover it all up. Then set it back in the fridge." I watched as Lily took a lollipop stick and dipped one of the ends in the white chocolate. I saw her take out one of the cake balls and plunge the stick into it but not all the way. Then she twirled the cake ball around carefully in the bowl of white candy melts. Lily walked over to the fridge and put the other end of the stick into a hole on the top of a box for the cake pop to stand. "Later, after its been dipped in green and dried, we use a toothpick and decorate the cake balls with the light green candy to make it look like a watermelons. You know watermelons need some stripes!" Lily said, excitedly. After the cake pops were done, we each took one and are it. "Wow these are delicious!" I exclaimed. "And it really looks like you bit into a watermelon that has seeds, how cool. "Well that's it for now folks, tune in next time . . . to see me all wrapped . . . in duck tape? Bye, I've got to get another one of these cake pops, it's delicious!

Written by: Lizzy Lizard

Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan, Joy Hammond and Mr. Smiley

*Notice!*

Time flies here at Smiley's News and believe it or not, this business is almost a year old! On August 15, 2013, we'll commemorate our first birthday! Did you know you can celebrate too? Please look through the previous newspapers we've written and send us a list of your favorite via email. Send them to the address, animaladventures@aol.com or animaladventures1314@gmail.com. On the 15th of August, we'll post the articles that people liked the most!

PS. All submissions must be submitted by August 8th.

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Old Mac Dee Dee Had a Farm . . .

The Dee Dee's at their farm. They have a wide range of animals and plants here and best of all, everything is organic!

We all know the rest of the famous song, “Old MacDonald Had a Farm”: “. . . e-i-e-i-o. And on that farm he had some chickens, e-i-e-i-o. With a cluck here and a cluck there . . .” When you think of your typical farm , you think of a rooster crowing at the crack of dawn to wake up the farmer and his family. So they can do their chores. The happy cows are in the barn ready for milking, eggs need to be collected from happy chickens, happy pigs and happy turkeys need to be fed, happy sheep need to be sheathed and etc. This is what many people think farms look like. But the way we've made farms has changed drastically over the years! This is how farms were decades ago. Unlike the fairytale big red farms of people's imagination, most real farms are huge (gray, brown or some other color) buildings that house the animals and crops once they've finished growing.  These large buildings are no more than storehouses. The poor animals on most modern farms are cooped together, often in dark and crammed conditions. Most of these animals don't see sunlight and are kept in tiny cages filled with manure and germs. Farmers spray special chemicals so most of the animals don't get sick, and when some do get sick, they're kept with the healthy animals! This is not the farms of yesteryear! And I won't even get into how many farms kill their animals! It's just plain cruel! Instead of just killing them without misery, chickens for instance are boiled in boiling hot water to take their feathers off . . . while still alive! Oops! I guess I did start explaining how they're killed, didn't I? But I'd say that I made my point – modern farms aren't the once we grow up with. Now don't get me wrong, not all modern farms are as cruel as the ones I described, but that's probably the majority of modern farms and they're increasing by the hundreds. And this isn't healthy for us, the consumers either. The growth hormones they use to make the animals as big as they get are actually carried on even in death, and guess who receives the effect of the growth hormones: us! No wonder many of us are giants today!

Well, some farmers don't want to make farms like the ones described. Take the new one that's opening up just outside of Riverville, New York. The farm, entitled Mac Dee Dee Farm, is run by Mac Dee Dee and he intends on making a type of new generation farm. My trusty junior photographer, Daniel P. Smithwater and I decided to check him out for an interview. “Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted to be a farmer,” says Dee Dee. “But when I read about all the awful stuff going on with many modern farms and how the food they put in grocery stores is affecting people's bodies, I felt my calling was to do something about it and make a change.” Dee Dee's farm is a large 50,000 acre property and has all the things a typical farm has: cows, chickens, turkeys, geese, pigs, horses, sheep, goats and he even has a few alpacas. He runs his farm with the rest of his family: his wife Mrs. Jules Dee Dee, their kids, James and Timothy Dee Dee and some volunteered helpers.

So why is Dee Dee's farm different from most others? Mr. Dee Dee is quoted for saying, “Well, first of all, we don't use growth hormones and pesticides and all that other garbage. All the stuff we put into our food – plant or animal – such as growth hormones and pesticides is still present and active in the organism after death and we humans buy this food and consume not only the food, but the hormones and pesticides as well. Most, but not all, modern farmers want the more money, and they get more money by making these animals and plants bigger than they should be. Some of the animals that receive growth hormones get so big they can't even stand, let alone walk around because their body can't support their weight. We don't give any of our products, plant or animal, growth hormones or pesticides. Second of all, we don't keep the animals cooped up in these large barns with no room to move around. This isn't healthy for the animals, or the people who will eat the animals.” Mac Dee Dee instead keeps his animals free-roaming, so his farm is called a “Free-Roam Farm”. Now unlike even most free-roam farms today, the animals have a large enclosure and are allowed to eat grass and behave like their wild counterparts. When it comes time to killing the animals, he kills quickly so they don't suffer and before taking the skin and feathers off. As I already said, some farms do this while they're still alive. “And we rarely have a problem with wild carnivores,” says Dee Dee. “But on the occasions we have coyotes or bears attacking the livestock, I don't kill them. They have a right to live too. Besides, most of them make a kill and move on. We haven't really had a problem with them sticking around to eat much livestock, but if we ever do, I'm just going to have the wildlife specialists move them to a different location. Too many farmers just shoot their problems away when the wild ecosystems need their top predator.” When asked what her opinion on helping her husband run the farm, Mrs. Jules says, “I enjoy it, I really do. I mean, it's one of the few true free-roam farms and it's just nice to run a farm like they did when my grandparents were growing up.” Running a farm like the Dee Dee's may not bring all that much money in the short run, but in the long run, these kinds of farms do the best. It's my hope that other farms around the country will do the same.

Written by: Mr. Smiley

Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan and Joy Hammond

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Next Issue: What Cake Pops? It's . . . Cake Pops!

The Not-So-Bird-Brained Crow

The Crow is a very intelligent bird!

Hey there, this is Lizzy the lizard reporting from around the neighborhood. I've been scouting these common black birds...the crows or are they ravens? I decided to do some research and now have a bit of respect for these feathered creatures. Ravens are taller then crows. An average size of a raven is 25 inches while an average crow's size is 18! Another way to distinguish the difference between the two birds is their beaks. A crow's beak is thicker compared to the ravens long, curved beak. A raven's call is deep and croaking while the crow's sets a type of musical tone. Did you know that these birds have clever ways of getting their food? Most clever ideas deal with opening nuts. Birds dot have a strong beak to break open nuts, like a nutcracker, instead they have to find was to break open the shell. These crows and ravens have many clever ways of getting the nuts. They pick up and nut and fly extremely high ten they drop the nut on a hard surface, breaking the shell. There are reports of crows putting nuts near parked car tires, as the car drove, it would roll over the nut and it would break. I'd have to give that idea a score of 100! Here's a scary fact: crows and ravens are smarter then humans! It's a scientific fact! They have a higher HQ ten you! Anyway, these birds have a very clear and accurate memory. Although you can't remember which crow or raven you've seen, these birds remember your face! If you mistreat one of these birds, they remember your face and tell their offspring and other of their kids. Word gets around that you are dangerous and must be got rid of! So they hang up and attack you! So you better watch out and make sure you treat these feathered friends nicely.

The Raven is a very alert bird

An American Crow near the water's edge

Written by: Lizzy Lizard

Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan, Joy Hammond and Mr. Smiley

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A Hairy Experiment

The Hair Grazer - the greatest thing since sliced bread - is an amazing gadget that is able to cut hair without pulling and tugging like a normal pair of hair clippers!

As many of you might have noticed, I'm not that big on haircuts. Contrary to popular opinion, I'm not bald, the little bit of hair I do have is the same color as my scalp. But as you might have noticed, I don't exactly have much hair to cut! For most people, a haircut is a nice thing to have every once and a while. I mean, without haircuts, we'd all look a little bit like woolly cave-people! Hair comes in lots of varieties, but some varieties can be a real pain in the head to cut. Take African-American hair for instance. In men, it's often curly as it grows longer and for many people it's harder to get cut. Well, our hairy prayers might be answered with a new revolutionary gadget from Dr. James Crowferd (the same guy whoinvented the car that runs on air in an article we wrote last year) and Dr. Harry Luis of Vassar College, USA. It's called, (drum roll please) . . . the Hair Grazer! My trusty, junior photographer, Daniel P. Smithwater and I went to see Dr. James and Harry at Vassar College to learn more about this fantastic invention. “We knew many people have struggled with getting their haircuts for ages,” said Dr. James. “We completely understand their troubles. I mean, some hair clippers just aren't made for some types of hair. They technically pull and tug on the hair until it comes out, which leads the receiver of the haircut to run screaming out the door in pain. That's why we invented the Hair Grazer.” While the Hair Grazer may look more like a fake ladybug, it does have its uses, or so I'm told. When asked how the Hair Grazer works, Dr. Harry is quoted for saying, “Ah, yes. The Hair Grazer. Nifty little invention I must say. It works just as its name suggests; instead of yanking the hair out of your head, it gracefully 'grazes' over your head. You place it on your head and it latches onto your scalp. After turning it on, you just relax as the Hair Grazer slowly moves across your head, 'grazing' on the hair as it goes, kind of like a cow . . . minus the smelly mess cows leave behind of course! Then after it's finished, it will make a little 'dinging' sound and you remove the device from your head, empty the hair in the garbage (or compost heap, hair is actually a great compost item!) and bingo! You're done! The whole process takes thirty minutes to an hour depending on the coarseness of the hair.” He also explained how the Hair Grazer is run off of nothing but rice or pasta (!) and is environmentally-friendly (but be prepared for raised prices on rice and pasta!). I then asked Dr. James why it's shaped like a ladybug, and his response was, “Well, it's because we think ladybugs are real cute.” The Hair Grazer will be mass-produced and found in stores all over the nation. So if you're one of those people who hate getting haircuts, your days of hoping for better ways are over! Thanks to ingenious scientists like Dr. James Crowferd and Dr. Harry Luis, the Hair Grazer has come to rescue you! I wonder what those two will invent next . . .

Written by: Mr. Smiley

Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan

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Next Issue: TBD (To Be Determined), Sorry for the inconvenience.

The History of Pizza!

An all-time American favorite - Pizza!

 I looked around for something new to see when I realized I was hungry for lunch. Suddenly, I smelled a sweet aroma and hurried over to where it was. It was a pizza parlor! Yum! I love pizza! I ordered my pizza with pepperoni and some flies then I sat down. I noticed a black bird near the street...it's a crow!....or maybe it's a raven, I really can't tell them apart. I was too starving to follow the bird. I looked at the pizza pie in front of me and my mouth watered! I gobbled up each slice one by one, delicious! Pizza has a very fun and interesting history! Did you know that Americans eat 350 slices of pizza every second? Which means that everyone eats about 23 pounds of pizza each  year (not including lizards, like me, who mostly eats flies and sorts)! People have put so many different toppings on the pizza including, peanut buyer and jelly, bacon and eggs, mashed potatoes, sweet corn, eel, squid, coconut, curry, pickled finger, minced lamb, cottage cheese, and green peas! Wow! That's some strange toppings (wonder when they'll have fly pie! I mean fly topping on pizza)! Would you choose one of those toppings? Did you know that around the early years of A.D, foods similar to our pizza existed before Jesus even walked the earth? Pizza became a word in Naples, Italy. Pizza was to describe the spicy flat bread in their language, 1000A.D. 1500's, tomatoes were tried in Europe to South America. Because of its redness, people thought that the tomatoes were poisonous! 1700's, pizza was served as a strange dish in the cities of Europe. In the 1830's, the first pizzeria opened in Naples, called the Port'Alba. Fascinating fact, the oven lining for the bakery's wood-fired oven was made from lava rocks from Mount Vesuvius. In 1889, pizza was born! Because the queen of Italy, Queen Margherita wanted to try this pizza so Raffaele wanted to bake something patriotic. He used the colors of their flag; green, white and red for his pizza. The tomatoes were red, basil and oregano for green but then he was in a predicament. You see his pizza crust wasn't white enough, he came up with plan. He added white cheese (no one thought of that as a topping) and the pizza became a success. In 1943, Ike Sewell and Ric Ricardo invented Chicago- style pizza. In 1945, the veterans of World War II brought home a taste of pizza and it became a hit. Frozen pizza was commercialized in 1957. California introduced, "designer" pizza, letting people choose different varieties for their pizza. The most amazing and delicious thing happened in December of 1990. Norwood Hypermarket in South Africa baked a pizza that filled half a football field and weighed nearly 27,000 pounds! It used up 10,000 pounds of flour and lots of pounds of cheese and onions ( yuk onions! Not my favorite choice). Of course naturally, you'd never think that a lizard, like me, would know such stuff and get years right and all but I'm a talented lizard. A lizard with a blue notebook, a notebook recorded with almost everything I know in it. Yup, okay I admit I'm not that smart...I saw a cardboard sign on the table, where I'm eating, and read off it. Anyway, I should get going. Oh dear...I think I forgot my wallet! Ahhhhhh this check is for seven dollars. It's the flies, I knew it! Hmmm well, gotta go, I have to find my wallet and pay for the pizza. This is Lizzy the Basilisk Lizard reporting live at.....I really don't know where I am.....oh well, goodbye! 

Written by: Lizzy Lizard

Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan, Joy Hammond and Mr. Smiley

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A Memorial Day to Remember

Methuselah (left), Otis Ostrich (background, right) and I (front, right) are at the grand opening at the new museum exhibit! It was a great turnout!

When Memorial Day comes around, obviously it's time to remember something special. And that some special is all the many souls who lost their lives to make our country the way it is now, e.g. the Civil War. Many died to keep our country free. We often take this for granted nowadays. At the Riverville Museum of Natural History, right here in Riverville, New York, they plan to do something that will help even more people remember what those many soldiers who died in the line of duty died for. This Memorial Day, the museum is opened a new exhibit: “Remembering Memorial Day.” Of course, the museum already had an exhibit on things relating to wars and Memorial Day, but that exhibit hadn't been fully updated since 1961 (with the exception of rewording some things and adding new pictures and videos). I'd agree that it's time for an update! For more details on the exhibit, my trusty junior photographer, Daniel P. Smithwater and I went to the museum's co-curator, Otis Ostrich, who also turns out to be the President of the Town Board. Somehow, he manages to fit being the President of the Town Board and being the co-curator of the museum into his schedule. “This exhibit opened on Memorial Day at 9:00 a.m.,” says Otis. “I'm glad it was a big turnout. What this exhibit features is a lot of cool things to learn about the wars that America has had something to do with in the past, mainly the Revolutionary, Civil and World Wars. We also have cool videos that people can view to learn more about these remarkable times.” Otis also told me that the exhibit is also going to have famous historians give presentations on these extensive subjects. When I asked what historians Otis was planning to visit the museum, he said, “We'll have many of the famous guys, such as Dr. William Channing, Dr. Phil Scott, and Dr. Francis “Frank” McDowell among others. Due to have sections dealing with other important people to remember that died trying to make our country better. “As always, people coming to the museum who live in the area can get in free, and people who don't live near here can just give a small donation,” Otis told me. “We don't like to charge too much for coming in because if people are focused on paying money, they are losing some of the fun they could be having learning about history, wildlife and nature, the solar system, dinosaurs, Biblical times and in this case, people who died while attempting to make our country a better place!” After our interview with Otis Ostrich, we went to a few other “locals” to get their opinion on the new exhibit. First, we asked Dr. Dodo Bird, a psychologist who lives at the nearby Animal Adventures Inc. (AAI.) “I think it's an awesome idea,” says Dr. Dodo. “It's about time the museum updates its exhibit on American history. I mean, history is often portrayed as boring and with a 'been-there-done-that' attitude. It doesn't have to be this way. History should be portrayed as something fun, new and exciting, it should be as exciting for us as it was for people living at the time the history happened. I hope the new exhibit captures that excitement properly. Knowing Otis Ostrich is heading the project, I'm sure it will!” Next we asked the ever-popular Sarah Bus Stop Guy. She is quoted for saying, “It's exciting . . . because it hasn't been updated since . . . 1961, right? There are a lot more veterans now than there were then. So it's a good thing.” (For once, Sarah wasn't sarcastic during the interview) Our last interview was with Methuselah, a bull African Elephant living at AAI. “Ah, the museum,” he says. “Yes, it's about time they update that Memorable exhibit. I mean, the way it was before they started updating it was cool. But 1961 was ages ago! So much has happened since then. So many other veterans have died for their cause since that date. They could even add some people who didn't exactly 'fight' in a physical war, per se, but a 'mental war' nonetheless. Take Martin Luther King Jr. Now he was a cool guy. He didn't fight in a physical war, but if he didn't do what he did, the poorly mistreated African-Americans might still be mistreated like they were back then or they might be just getting out of the mistreatment. I'm glad that segregation mess is over with. I mean, not only is it not fair, but it's also cruel and heartless. I could go on with this topic, but I'll save this for Martin Luther King Jr.'s Birthday day!” As we already mentioned, the grand opening was a great success, with over 5,000 people in attendance. But the museum could always use more guests who are ready to learn, so be sure to come and visit the “Remembering Memorial Day” exhibit so you – and all of us actually – can learn new and amazing things about America's exciting history!

Written by: Mr. Smiley

Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan

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Introducing Lizzy, the New Assistant at Smiley's News!

Hello everyone! It's me, Mr. Smiley! We have a new writer here at Smiley's News. Here name is Lizzy the Lizard and though she may be cold-blooded, she's quite quick on her feet, curious and talkative (she moves so fast you can hardly tell she's cold-blooded!). Anyway, don't let me steal the show, here's what Lizzy has to say about herself:

Hi my name is Lizzy, Lizzy the lizard. I am the newest member...or helper on at Smiley's News. I'm always curious and sometimes find myself getting in trouble (good thing my tail is a distraction for predators!). I like to discover new and interesting things to see and eat!

Lizzy's first article is the post just below the post you are reading right now. So let's read!

Love for the Birds

Mr. Lark Bunting (top) and Mr. Bowerbird (bottom) have two very different ways to attract mates!

Have you ever heard of a male bird dressing up before going to mate with another female? I had the opportunity to meet this bird and it's called a Lark Bunting, it's the bird in a tuxedo. Now usually before mating season, these male birds have on light brown feathers. As mating season arrives, the birds sort of shed their feathers revealing black and white ones underneath. However the female lark bunting can be a bit particular about the fashion of tuxedos, each male is wearing.

        I went up and talked to one of the males as he was about to change into another "tuxedo."

       "Excuse me Mr. Lark Bunting," I said, "why are you going to change your 'tuxedo' after all it is very nice."

        "Yeah, it is," he admitted, "but its not what the female birds are looking for."

        "What do you mean?" I asked.

        "You see each year, the female birds have a different fashion taste," Mr. Lark Bunting explained, "kind of like humans, especially the girls. They always go out to the store to by the 'in' styles. Perhaps in public school, most of the students hang out with the the most stylish kids. Well last year, the female birds liked a certain look, and now this year they want something different."

        After Mr. Lark Bunting finished "dressing", he flew over to a nest and started to sing a song that included lots of whistles. I watched as a female bird flew over and went to inspect him. Then she flew away, Mr. Lark Bunting came back defeated. 

        "Oh well," he said sadly, "guess I'll have to wait next year. It's hard to find a mate. With all these different costume changes, it's all so confusing! I just can't win!"

           As I walked away, I found another bird, waiting for the approval of a female bird, these birds were bowerbirds.

         "Hello Mr. Bowerbird," I said, "what are you waiting for?"

         The black bird looked at me and then back at the female bird who was inspecting a nest.

Bowerbird's go to great lengths to make beautiful bowers for their mates.

         "I'm waiting to see if she likes my nest," he replied.

         "What for?" I asked, curious.

         "We, male bowerbirds, build bower-like nests when mating season comes. A female comes and inspects the nest and if she likes it, then she will be my mate. However, the female often goes and visits other nests but if she likes this one then she will keep returning to it until she makes her final decision." He explained.

          The female bowerbird flew over to us. 

      "I really like the colors you choose for the nest" she complimented, "I might come back."

      After she flew off, Mr. Bowerbird sang happily. 

     "We'll I've got to get going," I said, "it's getting dark. I hope she becomes your mate!"

     "Good bye!" Mr. Bowerbird replied as he flew away, "it was nice talking to you."

     I walked down the rode and back home. I grabbed my blue notebook and wrote down all the things I learned that day. I couldn't wait for the next day! Birds are extremely amazing if you just stop and watch them (they're not "bird brains", if you get my pun). As I was going to bed, I heard a soft caaw-caaw-caaw.

Written by: Lizzy Lizard

Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan, Joy Hammond and Mr. Smiley

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Next Issue: A Hairy Experiment

Sarassic Park Stomps into Theaters in 3D!

The theatrical poster for "Sarassic Park". It will be showing in theaters starting this Friday (May 17, 2013)!

People shuddered by the thousands when dinosaurs made their way onto the movie screen in Jurassic Park when it was released in 1993. That was 20 years ago. You could practically call Jurassic Park the first movie ever to have real dinosaurs on screen, rather than those fake-looking stop-motion ones that killed everything that moved. Ever since Jurassic Park came out, people have wanted their dinosaur movies to be more realistic than ever before. Now a new dinosaur movie is coming into theaters this Friday (May 17, 2013). Enter: Sarassic Park! It may sound a little bit like “Sarcastic Park”, but it's nothing of the sort. When I heard about this movie, my trusty, junior photographer, Daniel P. Smithwater and I went to talk with the people who made this film, such as the director, Stephen Iceberg (is there any coincidence it rhymes with the famous movie-director Steven Spielberg?). When I asked him what the basic plot of this film was and if it was different than Jurassic Park, he is quoted for saying, “Contrary to what everyone's thinking about this movie, despite it's title, the plot has nothing to do with Jurassic Park. It's a totally new movie featuring new species of dinosaurs that tend to look remarkably like everyone's favorite actor, Sarah Bus Stop Guy! So the plot is about this girl named Sarah Bus-Stop-Guy who creates this theme park called Sarassic Park. Now at this park, they have cloned some species of dinosaurs that have never been seen before, such as the dangerous and very intelligent Sarahlosiraptor, the venom-spitting Sarahlophosaurus, the ever-popular Trisarahtops, and of course the mighty Tysarahsaurus rex, just to name a few.” For more details on the plot, I asked the one of the film's producers, Katelene Cassidy (which seems to rhyme with Jurassic Park's producer's name, Kathelene Kennedy). “This film is about paleontologists Dr. Alphonso Grant (played by Sir Lamb Deal, which rhymes with Jurassic Park star, Sam Neil) and Dr. Lizzy Sattenberger (played by Dora Churn, which appears to rhyme with Jurassic Park star, Laura Dern), a math teacher named Dylan Malcolm (played by Jeff Moldblum, which seems very familiar to Jurassic Park star Jeff Goldblum) and of course, the park's creator, Sarah Bus-Stop-Guy (the movie-makers couldn't get Sarah herself to play the part, so they enlisted Sarah Sillyheart to play the part) as they try to create a theme park full of dinosaurs. They don't do this on an island like what happens in Jurassic Park, but instead they build it in Florida. But things go terribly wrong and the dinosaurs escape (sound familiar?). Now the dinosaurs are running amok in Florida.” I tried to ask Katelene for more details, but she said that we'd have to wait for the movie to come out to find out more. If you ask me though, despite what the movie-makers say, this sounds a great deal like Jurassic Park. Next, my photographer and I went to interview Sarah Bus Stop Guy herself (as you'll recall, “Bus Stop Guy” is a three-part last name) to see what her opinion on the movie was. When asked if she was excited about the movie, she said, “NO! I don't like that movie!” When asked why she didn't like it, she responded, “Because it's involving me in a bad way . . . it's making me popular, of course, but in a bad way . . . wait! Are you going to put what I'm saying in the newspaper? That's does it! I'm not answering any more of your questions!” She then got up from her chair, went into her house and slammed the door shut behind her. Interesting way for a preteen to act when getting interviewed I must say! I know from personal experience that Sarah can be very, very juvenile a large percent of the time. But anyway, I'm getting off topic here! Sarassic Park is coming into theaters May 17, 2013. I'm not so sure that this movie is going to be awarded “Best Picture of the Year” considering its MANY similarities to Jurassic Park, but hey, it will be funny to see Sarah Bus Stop Guy, everyone's favorite, very juvenile, sarcastic TV star play it out on the big screen with everyone's favorite prehistoric reptiles (even if Sarah herself isn't going to be in the movie!).

Written by: Mr. Smiley

Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan

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We here at Smiley’s News, I have been working night and day to get articles ready. I could really use some help! So we are looking for people interested in writing (especially kids and teens). If you are interested, PLEASE(!) send an email to animaladventures@aol.com and save me from working night and day! I’m exhausted!

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Baby Mummysaurus!

Samuel and Indiana Adamson with the baby Spinosaurus mummy (it has been digitally restored so that it looks like it did before it was wrapped)

When we hear the word “mummy”, you most likely think of a dead body wrapped up in cloth, stuffed into a sarcophagus hidden in a tomb in a huge pyramid. But what about baby dinosaurs? That’s exactly what two paleontologists, Dr. Samuel Adamson PhD. and his wife Dr. Indiana Adamson PhD. found on their expedition to Egypt. This find seemed very amazing so my junior photographer, Daniel P. Smithwater and I headed over to Animal Adventures Institute to find out more about the discovery. What’s Animal Adventures Institute? Well, Animal Adventures Institute is the part of Animal Adventures Inc. that does the “scientific stuff.” Animal Adventures Inc. is also the company that Dr. Samuel Adamson and his wife work for. So anyway, back to the story. We went to the institute to interview Dr. Samuel and Indiana about this incredible find. “We were actually looking for bones of great sauropod [long necked] dinosaurs that used to roam the landscape,” says Indiana. “But one of our tour guides suggested we take a break from fossil hunting and explore the tourist sites in Egypt, one of which was the Great Pyramid. So we took a break, and we were glad we did!” While touring the pyramid, Dr. Samuel looked down an alleyway and realized a weird-shaped pair of sarcophagi (the plural for sarcophagus) sitting in a corner. Samuel and Indiana got permission to open the sarcophaguses and found the mummified bodies of two baby dinosaurs called Spinosaurus Aeygipticus (Spine-oh-soar-us Ee-gip-tee-cus). Now these sarcophaguses were undiscovered until recently because of where they were in the tunnels. Scientists had just assumed they were funny shaped rocks and left them alone. “This is not just a remarkable find because they’re dinosaurs, but this also is just more evidence that dinosaurs lived with man, not so long ago. Before this, we didn't however, have evidence that dinosaurs lived with the Egyptians. But now we know they did!” says Dr. Samuel. You see, secular scientists believe that dinosaurs went extinct millions of years before humans existed, but this is firm proof that Creationist scientists were right all along – dinosaurs coexisted with people. Due to recent evidence, it appears that Spinosaurus was the god of the crocodiles in Egyptian mythology (of course, we know that there is only one true God, but these misinformed people didn’t know that). So when a Spinosaurus died, they treated it with respect. “This is also an amazing find because this is the first time a Spinosaurus has been found as a complete skeleton,” says Samuel. And he is correct. Other than these mummified babies, Spinosaurus was only known from a handful of fossil fragments. And most of those few fragments were tragically destroyed during World War II. And these are also the first baby Spinosaurus ever discovered. After this find, you would think most scientists would become Creationists. But it appears these evolutionists are missing the point more than I thought, as an interview with Dr. Pride B. Forefall PhD. tells us. When I asked him what he thought about this discovery he said, “I don’t see what all the fuss is about. So what they supposedly discovered evidence for man coexisting with dinosaurs? These baby Spinosaurus were probably uncovered by the Egyptians and the Egyptians thought they were crocodiles to they mummified them.” Really, how realistic does that sound? Really? So maybe the evolutionists aren’t convinced, but we Christians can be sure of one thing: God made dinosaurs and people to live at the same time. What will Dr. Indiana and Dr. Samuel dig up next? We don’t know, but it could be something truly remarkable.

Written by: Mr. Smiley

Photographed by: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan

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