A Hairy Experiment

The Hair Grazer - the greatest thing since sliced bread - is an amazing gadget that is able to cut hair without pulling and tugging like a normal pair of hair clippers!

As many of you might have noticed, I'm not that big on haircuts. Contrary to popular opinion, I'm not bald, the little bit of hair I do have is the same color as my scalp. But as you might have noticed, I don't exactly have much hair to cut! For most people, a haircut is a nice thing to have every once and a while. I mean, without haircuts, we'd all look a little bit like woolly cave-people! Hair comes in lots of varieties, but some varieties can be a real pain in the head to cut. Take African-American hair for instance. In men, it's often curly as it grows longer and for many people it's harder to get cut. Well, our hairy prayers might be answered with a new revolutionary gadget from Dr. James Crowferd (the same guy whoinvented the car that runs on air in an article we wrote last year) and Dr. Harry Luis of Vassar College, USA. It's called, (drum roll please) . . . the Hair Grazer! My trusty, junior photographer, Daniel P. Smithwater and I went to see Dr. James and Harry at Vassar College to learn more about this fantastic invention. “We knew many people have struggled with getting their haircuts for ages,” said Dr. James. “We completely understand their troubles. I mean, some hair clippers just aren't made for some types of hair. They technically pull and tug on the hair until it comes out, which leads the receiver of the haircut to run screaming out the door in pain. That's why we invented the Hair Grazer.” While the Hair Grazer may look more like a fake ladybug, it does have its uses, or so I'm told. When asked how the Hair Grazer works, Dr. Harry is quoted for saying, “Ah, yes. The Hair Grazer. Nifty little invention I must say. It works just as its name suggests; instead of yanking the hair out of your head, it gracefully 'grazes' over your head. You place it on your head and it latches onto your scalp. After turning it on, you just relax as the Hair Grazer slowly moves across your head, 'grazing' on the hair as it goes, kind of like a cow . . . minus the smelly mess cows leave behind of course! Then after it's finished, it will make a little 'dinging' sound and you remove the device from your head, empty the hair in the garbage (or compost heap, hair is actually a great compost item!) and bingo! You're done! The whole process takes thirty minutes to an hour depending on the coarseness of the hair.” He also explained how the Hair Grazer is run off of nothing but rice or pasta (!) and is environmentally-friendly (but be prepared for raised prices on rice and pasta!). I then asked Dr. James why it's shaped like a ladybug, and his response was, “Well, it's because we think ladybugs are real cute.” The Hair Grazer will be mass-produced and found in stores all over the nation. So if you're one of those people who hate getting haircuts, your days of hoping for better ways are over! Thanks to ingenious scientists like Dr. James Crowferd and Dr. Harry Luis, the Hair Grazer has come to rescue you! I wonder what those two will invent next . . .

Written by: Mr. Smiley

Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan

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We here at Smiley’s News, I have been working night and day to get articles ready. I could really use some help! So we are looking for people interested in writing (especially kids and teens). If you are interested, PLEASE(!) send an email to animaladventures@aol.com and save me from working night and day! I’m exhausted!

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