Thursday, December 26, 2013

The Pitter-Patter of Dino-Paws

Dinosaur bones aren't the only things that fossilize; dinosaur eggs did so too! Keep reading to learn about the new previously extinct reptiles that will soon be making an appearance at Animal Adventures Inc!
Last year, Animal Adventures Inc. celebrated the birth of their newest addition – a female baby Parasaurolophus named Morgan. Now, some species of extinct creatures are preparing for the hatching of the newest babies. Who will the proud parents be? None other than AAI.'s pair of Velociraptors and Pteranodon. Buck and Ginger Velociraptors were quite excited when they found out that Ginger was bearing eggs. When I found out about this, I thought it was definitely newsworthy. So my trusty, junior photographer, Daniel P. Smithwater, and I went to the raptor's apartment to get an exclusive interview. Buck is quoted for saying, “This won't be our first batch. A couple years ago, we had Molly, who's now in her teens.” Molly is quite up and coming of age as any who knows her will tell you. Buck's proud to have raised her the way he did and both he and Ginger were kind of bummed that parenthood with Molly was ending. “But that's the great thing about dinosaurs!” Ginger announces. “Unlike a lot of humans, dinosaurs have multiple 'litters' in their lifetimes. So when one 'litter' grows up, another will be on its way.” Ginger also cautioned me not to use the term “pregnant” when referring to a reptile bearing eggs. “The technical term is 'gravid',” she says. “Tell your readers to look it up if they don't believe me.” After the interview was over, Daniel and I went to AAI.'s lead paleontologist, Dr. Samuel Adamson, a man who was able to tell me much about the reproductive habits of Velociraptors in the wild. Dr. Adamson is quoted for saying, “Velociraptors are turkey-sized dinosaurs from the family of dinosaurs known as the dromaeosaurs, or 'raptor dinosaurs' (and as Buck and Ginger will tell you, being turkey-sized doesn't make them not dangerous). What makes them unique is the special three-inch retractable claw on their middle toes, used . . . [for] finishing off their prey and . . . oh! Reproductive habits! I'm going off topic . . . let's see, reproductive habits . . . Well, Velociraptor was very similar in many ways to modern birds (despite not being related to them, as birds were made on Day 5 of the Creation week described in the book of Genesis in the Bible and dinosaurs were made on Day 6) and we know many dinosaurs brooded their eggs, just like birds. We even find fossils of dinosaurs similar to Velociraptor sitting on nests. Also like birds, they probably turned the eggs and would incubate them until it was time for them to hatch. Nests of these dinosaurs often resembled the nests of many ground-dwelling birds today. They also would have been cared for after they hatched.” But that's not all that's happening here at AAI.; as I mentioned before, the other pair of proud parents is AAI.'s own pair of Pteranodon, Mr. Fire and Mrs. Thunder. Unlike the raptors, this will be their first batch of eggs. By the way, Dr. Samuel had some interesting information on Pteranodon as well. “Contrary to popular belief,” says Dr. Samuel, “there is no such species of dinosaur as a pterodactyl. First of all, dinosaurs don't fly, so any reptile with the ability of flight is called a flying reptile. The correct name for the group of flying reptiles Pteranodon belongs to is called pterosaurs and while there is a species of pterosaur called Pterodactylus, and the group of pterosaurs Pteranodon belongs to is referred to at pterodactaloid, people are using the incorrect name when referring to Pteranodon itself. Anyway, Pteranodon was a pterosaur with a 25-30 foot wingspan and was a terrific glider. Like modern birds, they probably nurtured their young as well. It's likely that pterosaurs such as Pteranodon nested in large colonies on coastal cliffs, like many of today's sea birds. We've . . . actually discovered some fossilized pterosaur eggs and by using CAT scans to peer inside them, we can tell the development of the baby inside. Based on these CAT scans, we know pterosaurs grew very quickly and were ready to take their first flight soon after hatching.” He went on to explain that they probably were too inexperienced to catch their own food, so their parents must have still done some caring for them until they could take care of themselves. “I can't believe I'm going to be a mother! It's so exciting!” says Thunder. “Since our species went extinct thousands of years ago, I've never been able to witness another Pteranodon rearing young, but I've been doing some research on child-rearing for pterosaurs and I think I'm ready.” Fire says that he feels, “it's my duty to help bring on the next generation of Pteranodon, with our species being pretty much extinct and all.” In closing, Daniel gave me the idea of going to Dr. Steve Stevenson (head of Animal Adventures Institute, the lead scientist of the team that brings AAI.'s dinosaurs to life via cloning) to get his thoughts on the fact that his dinosaurs are breeding. “It's really awe-inspiring . . .[to] me,” he says. “I mean, these creatures that you worked hard to recreate – watching them grow up and become adults is fascinating. And every time they reproduce it just makes me imagine how powerful God must be to have created the original dinosaurs all those thousands of years ago and how complex he made their reproductive behaviors, everything from laying the eggs to rearing them. It's simply awesome every time I think about it.”

Written by: Mr. Smiley
Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater
Edited by: Christian Ryan, Joy Hammond


We here at Smiley’s News, I have been working night and day to get articles ready. I could really use some help! So we are looking for people interested in writing (especially kids and teens). If you are interested, PLEASE(!) send an email to and save me from working night and day! I’m exhausted!

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Next Issue: Unknown

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Lizzy the Christmas Singing Lizard

Singing and music have long been a huge part of Christmas! Continue reading to learn what Lizzy's favorite Christmas songs are!
Hey guys today we are going to talk about Christmas music. As you know, I, Lizzy the Lizard, just love to sing! So it's time to show you some of my favorite Christmas songs.
    1. One Small Child
      -This song is one my favorites because I learned it for a Christmas concert and it just sounds so mystical.
    2. Ruldolph the Red-nose Reindeer
      -This song has got to be one of the best. My sister and I used to pray that a blizzard would on Christmas Eve night so Ruldolph would be pulling the sled. :)
    3. O Holy Night
      -I don't know about you, but I always have fun trying to hit those high notes.
    4. Carol of the Bells
      -This song is very interesting the way it keeps the tune throughout the song and it just goes faster and faster.
    5. Savior, Christ the King
      -The lyrics are very touching. My favorite line is, ". . . that war would cease and God will dwell inside every heart of man."
    6. No Eye Had Seen
      -This lovely song tells about the proclamation of Jesus' birth.
    7. Breath of Heaven (Mary's Song)
      -The songwriter gives a look into what Mary may have been thinking as she carried baby Jesus in her body.
    8. We Wish You a Merry Christmas and Feliz Navidad
      -These are my favorite ending songs, their both so uplifiting.

However, no matter how many times I either sing it or hear it sung, I can't help but wonder . . . what in the world is FIGGY PUDDING?!? Guess I'll have to look it up and tell you guys next time. Maybe I'll even give you the recipe?!? (I'm hoping it has little bug bits in it . . . yummy!) Well, this is Lizzy, I hope you enjoyed this musical section. From all of us here at Smiley's News . . . have a (slightly early) merry Christmas!!!!!

Written by: Lizzy the Lizard
Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater
Edited by: Christian Ryan, Joy Hammond, Mr. Smiley

We here at Smiley’s News, I have been working night and day to get articles ready. I could really use some help! So we are looking for people interested in writing (especially kids and teens). If you are interested, PLEASE(!) send an email to and save me from working night and day! I’m exhausted!

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Next Issue: The Pitter-Patter of Dino-Paws

Thursday, December 12, 2013

The Annual AAI. Christmas Party

This beatiful photograph was taken of the Gregor's Christmas tree after they lighted it at their annual Christmas party on Christmas Eve. Read today's article to learn what else happens at the party.
As you might have guessed by reading articles from Smiley's News, you'll know that a lot of strange things happen here at Animal Adventures Inc. (Smiley's News is a under-business, if you will, of Animal Adventures Inc.AAI. for short) Dinosaurs are being cloned from extinction in Dr. Steve Stevenson's laboratory, (Animal Adventures Institute)elephants go crazy for sugar-substitute jelly beanspeople have found strange animal bones in their backyards andgiant birthday girls get calmed down by intelligent Dodo birds, just to name a few of the instances that have happened here. But we do normal things too, especially around the holidays! If there's one holiday that we are big on celebrating here at AAI. is Christmas. It's my favorite time of year! Not because of the presents, Santa or reindeer, (though those are cool too) but because this is the time of year we celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, the Messiah, born around 2,000 years ago. At AAI. it's our obligation to make Jesus Christ the center of our Christmas celebration. Another thing I love around this time of year is what we call the “Gregor's Annual Christmas Party”. (We were going to call it the CPWCA, which is Christmas Party Without a Cool Acronym, but our founder, Nigel Milligan insisted, “It sounds too much like something from the Phineas and Ferb television show.”) Every Christmas Eve, the Gregor family – Mr., Mrs. and their son Ryan Gregor – open their home to everyone who lives at AAI. to have a nice meal, some fellowship, light the Christmas tree and sing Christmas songs. “I absolutely love the Christmas season,” says Mr. Gregor. “We've been blessed with a nice large house (mansion), and so we figured that we'd use it during this time of year to welcome everyone in for a yearly party. Back when I was growing up in Italy with my family, we took Christmas very seriously.” Mr. Gregor went on to explain that every Christmas, he and his family would go Christmas caroling and give out Gospel tracks about the true meaning of Christmas. When asked what they normally do every year, Mrs. Gregor was quoted for saying, “Well, we normally get in our groups to talk and catch up on what's going on in our lives . . . we also pray for each other and Mr. Gregor and the kids go out to the local tree farm and cut down a Christmas tree, bring it back to our place and decorate it. It's really beautiful.” As I mentioned before, everyone on AAI. is invited, including the hundreds of animals that live here (most are relatively small and the larger dinosaurs and other animals hang out outside). “We also have a lot cool songs,” says Ryan Gregor. “I find the Christmas season so exciting!” Methuselah, one of the bull African elephants who lives on property, also has something to say about this time of year. “Adam and the other maintenance workers here really do a great job at decorating for the holidays,” says Methuselah. “My wife and I often hang out underneath one of mistletoe toe decorations near our [extra, extra, extra, extra . . . large] apartment room. The food we have at the Christmas party is specially prepared by our AAI. chefs, and let me you, it's great!” When asked about her opinion for the Christmas party, AAI. resident Mary Matron (who also owns Mary's Mall which is on AAI. property) says, “Can't we do it at the mall or something? I get kind of bored of at it at the Gregor's every year. They do the same old thing!” For this article, we interviewed a lot of people, so here are a few other quotes we got from various AAI. residents:
“It's boring!”
  • Sarah Bus Stop Guy
“I love it every year! The decorations are the best! They remind me so much of my earring collection. After the 2010 Christmas party was when my boyfriend, Adam, kissed me for the first time under mistletoe!”
  • Kelly Martin
“. . . the songs, the food, the thanksgiving and everything is so much fun!”
  • Angel Stevenson
“It's boring. We do the same thing every year.”
  • Mrs. Bus Stop Guy (I wonder where her Christmas “spirit” is this year!)
“I really do enjoy cooking for the party every year with Adam Fletcher.”
  • Rack-Coon the raccoon
And we haven't even started talking about the food served at the party! Every year, the chef (Rack-Coon, who is assisted by Adam Fletcher and Mitch the meerkat) cooks special food just for the party; most of it is a variety of different types of food, but the favorite dishes prepared by Rack-Coon are fixed every year. What dishes are these? Well, he calls them the “8 Polish Foods of Christmas”.

Here's how the “8 Polish Foods of Christmas” tradition we have goes: Rack-Coon, Mitch and Adam bring in the food and someone asks, “So, what'cha bring us?” The music to a familiar Christmas song starts playing and Rack-Coon responds, “What I bring you? What I bring you? I'll tell you what I bring you!” After this, as a part of the annual party, everyone sings along to the Christmas song known as, not the “12 Days of Christmas”, but the “8 Polish Foods of Christmas”, as as we sing each verse, that item is brought out for us to eat (but we get more than one, or two, or three pieces of each item of course!) To hear the song and learn the words so that you too may sing along with your family this year, click on the video below:

Then, after the party is over, we all head back home to await Christmas Day itself, and on that day we'll spend time to remember that while the party was fun, we mustn't forget the true meaning of Christmas – the humble birth of Jesus Christ – and THAT'S what Christmas is really all about!

Written by: Mr. Smiley
Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater
Edited by: Christian Ryan, Joy Hammond

PS. What are YOU doing for Christmas? Please let us know via commenting, which can be done at the bottom of this article!

We here at Smiley’s News, I have been working night and day to get articles ready. I could really use some help! So we are looking for people interested in writing (especially kids and teens). If you are interested, PLEASE(!) send an email to and save me from working night and day! I’m exhausted!

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Next Issue: Lizzy the Christmas Singing Lizard

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Lizzy's Christmas Goodies!

Yum! New York Cheesecake is the best! Read this week's article to learn all about how to make Chantal's New York Cheesecake - Lizzy the Lizard style!
Thanksgiving may be over but Christmas is just around the corner. I'm Lizzy and here is my sister Lily, live from our kitchen. Today, we have a cheesecake recipe: Chantal's New York Cheesecake!

First you will need the following:
  • 15 graham crackers, crushed
  • 2 tablespoons of butter, melted
  • 4 (8 ounce) packages of cream cheese
  • 1 ½ white sugar
  • ¾ cup of milk
  • 4 eggs
  • 1 cup of sour cream
  • 1 tablespoon of vanilla extract
  • ¼ cup of all purpose flour.

Second, preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit and grease a 9-inch springform pan. Then mix the graham cracker crumbs with the melted butter in a medium bowl. Press it onto the bottom of the springform pan. Third, in a large bowl, mix cream cheese with the sugar until smooth. Blind in the mild and then mix in one egg at a time, just enough to incorporate. Next, mix in the sour cream, the vanilla and flour until smooth. Then pour filling into prepared crust. Finally, bake in preheated oven for one hour. Turn the oven off and let the cake cool in the oven with the door closed for 5-6 hours. This will prevent the cake from cracking. And last but and least, chill it in the fridge until it's time to be served!

Hope you guys like this recipe have a fun time baking this Christmas! This is Lizzy and her sister, Lily signing off.

Written by: Lizzy the Lizard
Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater
Edited by: Christian Ryan, Joy Hammond & Mr. Smiley

PS. What are YOU doing for Christmas? Please let us know via commenting, which can be done at the bottom of this article!


We here at Smiley’s News, I have been working night and day to get articles ready. I could really use some help! So we are looking for people interested in writing (especially kids and teens). If you are interested, PLEASE(!) send an email to and save me from working night and day! I’m exhausted!

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Next Issue: The AAI. Annual Christmas Party 

The Mysteries of Saint Nicholas

Does Santa Claus exist? There's plenty of "evidence" that he doesn't . . . but how valid is it? Read this week's article to find out!
Saint Nicholas, also known as Santa Claus and Kris Kringle, is a hot topic this time of year. (And by hot, I mean HOT!) Many people firmly believe in him, others do not. But what's the truth? I mean, how else do all those presents get under the Christmas tree? I've heard plenty and plenty of so-called evidences that Santa Claus doesn't exist. I've heard them time and time again and it gets awful annoying. I seriously believe some people are paid to prove Santa Claus doesn't exist. This past Monday, I was bored in my office at Smiley's News (which, as you might recall is a part of Animal Adventures Inc.) with my trusty, junior photographer, Daniel P. Smithwater, Lizzy the Lizard, another writer at Smiley's News and a ton of arguments on the internet that Santa Claus doesn't exist and what was I to do? Well, my photographer and I decided to get to the bottom of this and find out evidence that Santa exists! I firmly believe that he exists with little or no evidence, but other people aren't so convinced so . . . oh, my photographer just informed me that I'm babbling so I'll get right to the point. Daniel, Lizzy and I did our own research to find a conclusion. First of all, I'll refresh your memory on just what Santa Claus has to do every Christmas Eve – as we all know, Santa jumps into his sleigh with his red bag and tons of presents and he flies into the sky thanks to his nine reindeer. Now, let's look at each of the arguments against Santa Claus' existence and I'll put my arguments forth and we'll prove once and for all that old Saint Nick exists!

Argument #1 – No one can deliver presents all over the world in one night, not even Santa Claus

Well, let's look at the facts: there are around seven billion people in the world and around one billion are kids. Here's the math: Santa has 24 hours to deliver all the presents, and one billion divided by 24 equals 41,666,666 kids per hour! And we're not finished yet! After dividing 41,666,666 by 60 (as there are 60 minutes in an hour), you get 649,444 kids to be visited per minute. After dividing 649,444 by 60 (as there are 60 seconds in one minute). That's 11,5574 kids per second! How does the old guy do it? Many Santa-disbelievers object to his existence because they think it's impossible to visit that many kids in one night because the day's simply not long enough. So, how do I counterattack this? Well, my assistants and I visited Dr. Dodo Bird, Animal Adventures Inc.'s psychiatrist (he does other stuff as well) to offer a few theories as to how this could be done. “First of all, a lot of people believe that Santa can't deliver presents to all the children of the world,” Dr. Dodo says, “but many people forget that not everyone celebrates Christmas in the first place! So if you count out those kids that don't celebrate Christmas, you still have a lot of kids left to visit. That's where the Time-Continuum Theory comes in!” Dr. Dodo explained that in the Time-Continuum Theory, Santa Claus could travel in his sleigh in the direction of the setting sun. So if he leaves the North Pole at 12:00 pm. he would start in Australia, in the earliest time zone, and then fly west. As he passes through different time zones going westward, he gains an hour each time he enters a new time zone. Dr. Dodo is quoted for saying, “Even though this theory is quite popular among Santa-believers, it's probably not enough time for Santa Claus to make his delivery. That's why I invented an all-new theory of my own: meet (*drum roll*) . . . the Time-Travel Theory!” According to the Dodo bird (who isn't much of a dodo after all!), Santa would have to travel extremely fast and thanks to a presumably reindeer AND jet-powered sleigh, this can be done. Dr. Dodo explains, “If Santa could travel extremely fast – say, jet-airplane-speed – strange things could happen. Going at extremely fast speeds could possibly result in the ability of time travel! (It might seem weird, but flying at light-speed might actually accomplish time-travel) And if Santa is time-traveling, he might be able to travel back in time and therefore add time to his time limit!” So much for this argument!

Argument #2 – Reindeer can't fly

Obviously, most reindeer can't fly. So how would Santa's Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Doner, Blitzen and Rudolph take to the air? Since it turns out we already covered this article last year in an article all about Santa's best buds, I'll just sum it all up: it's theorized that the reindeer gain their power of flight by consuming a special type of corn (called Magic Feed Corn) that fills their bodies with gas (not the rude kind of gas) and they can float into the air. By kicking their legs while in the air, they can move quite gracefully through the air. If you're thinking about trying some of this corn, I wouldn't advise it – side effects may include throat rashes, hair loss and strange hallucinations and dreams concerning Santa Claus and the North Pole-themed shopping centers.

Argument #3 – The North Pole's in the middle of the Arctic ocean

It's true, if you look at a map of the world and look at the North Pole, you'll realize that it's smack dab in the middle of the deep, blue ocean. How can Santa Claus's workshop be in the middle of the ocean? Well, it turns out that up in the pole, it's obviously bitterly cold, so icebergs often floats in the ocean all year round. My sources have led me to conclude that Santa Claus might have special techniques not only to keep the icebergs the size they need to keep the workshop floating, but also to keep the iceberg in the same location so we don't find Santa's workshop floating somewhere in the Southern Atlantic Ocean. Many have also wondered why we don't find satellite-imaging evidence for Santa's existence, but perhaps his workshop's inside instead of on top of the iceberg? Something like in the Santa Clause franchise? Then we might never know he's there (which is kind of the point). While doing my research, Lizzy brought up another suggestion: “What if he's not in the North Pole at all?” “What do you mean?” I asked. “What if we think he's in the North Pole? He could be living in the South Pole for all we know, and we'd never know to look there because we think he's up north!” Then it hit me – Lizzy's got a point! So in summary, Santa's workshop could be either in or on top of an iceberg in the North Pole or at the South Pole in Antarctica.

Argument #4 – “I saw my parents putting 'presents from Santa' under the Christmas tree.”

One of the most common arguments of all is that kids claim to have witnessed their parents putting “Santa's” presents underneath the Christmas tree. How on earth can we argue against this? Well, my assistants and I thought long and hard about this . . . and we finally thought of an incredible solution! Santa Claus needs to be kept secret, right? And nonbelievers in Santa wouldn't be so inclined to find him, especially if they remember putting presents underneath the tree for their kids. What if Santa has an ingenious invention to ensure people don't make serious searches for him by causing them to forget with – what else? – an amnesia-inator? If this supposed amnesia-inator exists, one of Santa's elves could easily press a “global-extent” button and people would not only forget not-putting presents under the tree and “remember” doing just that, but (some) kids might “remember” seeing their parents doing the deed. Isn't it ingenious? Of course, it must not effect everyone, or we'd have one too many unbelievers and that's not good.

So there you have it! Four evidences against the four most common arguments against Santa's existence. So you readers can now scream to your unbelieving friends, “Ha! Mr. Smiley told me evidence that Santa does exist!” Now that you've read this article, I have a question: do you (now) believe in Santa Claus? My assistants and I know our answer full and well, and it was the same one given to a certain young girl who asked about Old St. Nicks existence: “Yes [Virginia], there is a Santa Claus!”

Written by: Mr. Smiley
Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater
Edited by: Christian Ryan, Joy Hammond


We here at Smiley’s News, I have been working night and day to get articles ready. I could really use some help! So we are looking for people interested in writing (especially kids and teens). If you are interested, PLEASE(!) send an email to and save me from working night and day! I’m exhausted!

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Next Issue: Lizzy's Christmas Goodies