Monday, November 23, 2015

Rerun Article: A Gobbler's Protest

Disclaimer: The views presented in the following article do not represent the views of Smiley’s News. Please note that they are merely the views of the interviewee.

Thanksgiving is rounding the corner. Wait, I’m wrong, it’s here! Oh the joy! A lot of people will be doing special things for Thanksgiving this year. Some will be watching football, some will be doing something special with other family members, some will go over to a friend’s house. But no matter where you are, there’s one thing we probably all will be doing this Thanksgiving - eating turkey! Turkey is prepared in dozens of different ways, most will probably just lay it out on the table, others will be putting their turkey in sandwiches, others will have turkey slices, others will eat theirs right off the bone, and some will even be eating it inside Apple Pie like my grandma does. Boy, she makes her pie weird too. Take her crust for instance. In order to get it just perfect, she takes her false teeth out and . . . wait a minute, I’m getting off topic here! Anyways, this Thanksgiving, some citizens will be going to turn Thanksgiving upside-down! At Animal Adventures Inc. (AAI.), in Riverville, New York, a fowl by the name of Dr. Turkey Curkey wishes to (naturally) change the Thanksgiving tradition of, you guessed it: turkey hunting! He’s quoted for saying, “I don’t like turkey season. Never have. I mean, I’m safe here at AAI., but I have to be careful where I go when fall comes because it’s not often that you see a turkey just walking on the sidewalk. I have to be careful in the spring too.” Dr. Turkey has PhD. in psychology and human behavioral studies and views turkey season as just a chance for humans to go crazy. Recently, he had a speech in which hundreds of regularly hunted and eaten fowl (along with myself and my trusty, junior photographer Daniel P. Smithwater) gathered to hear him. On the issue of turkey season (and fowl season in general), he said, “I believe that the hunting of fowl has gone out of hand. I mean seriously, turkeys and other fowl are living things just like humans. We may not be made in God’s image, so it would make since that we are not treated the same, but still, I firmly believed we are undertreated.” He also went on to say that even living conditions for turkeys and chickens on farms are not satisfactory. He believes they should be cleaned out much more often and they should not be fed that GMO stuff. “Turkey’s hate the taste of GMO and growth hormones,” Dr. Turkey says, “but the only reason why we eat it is because that’s all we’re given.” Dr. Turkey isn’t really for the eating turkey on Thanksgiving, but he understands that humans just have a habit of doing that. Not only that, but he also recalls God’s words to humans in Genesis 9:3, “” On Thanksgiving Day though, he recommends another thing to do instead of killing “poor and innocent” turkeys. “Instead of killing turkeys,” he says, “humans should be generous and adopt a baby turkey for a Thanksgiving tradition. I mean, compared to animals such as dogs and cats, turkeys require much less care. Humans don’t have to brush them, pay for weekly visits to the vet, pet them often, play with them often, buy toys for them and etc. Turkeys, chickens and other fowl make much better pets than food. We turkeys are generally looked down on, but it wasn’t always this way. As a matter of fact, Benjamin Franklin wanted the national bird to be a turkey instead of a bald eagle. Here, check out this quote from a letter he wrote to his daughter named Sarah Bache on January 26, 1784. He wrote:

‘Others object to the Bald Eagle, as looking too much like a Dindon . . . For my own part I wish the Bald Eagle had not been chosen the Representative of our country. He is a Bird of bad moral character. He does not get his living honestly. You may have seen him perched on some dead tree near the river, where, too lazy to fish for himself, he watches the labour of the fishing hawk[Osprey]; and when that diligent bird has at length taken a fish, and is bearing it to his nest for the support of his mate and young ones, the bald eagle pursues him and takes it from him. . . . he is generally poor and often very lousy. Besides he is a rank coward: the little king bird not bigger than a sparrow attacks him boldly and drives him out of the district. He is by no means a proper emblem for the brave and honest Cincinnati of America who have driven all the king birds from our country . . .
I am on this account . . . displeased that the figure is . . . known as a bald eagle . . . For in truth the turkey is in comparison a much more respectable bird, and withal a true original Native of America. . . He is besides . . . a bird of courage, and would not hesitate to attack a Grenadier of the British Guards who should presume to invade his farm yard with a red coat on.’

So as you can see, I firmly believe the turkey, and all other hunting/eating birds, need more respect than they are getting.” Wow! What a powerful speech for such an . . . amazing bird. So why not get a pet turkey? Look around the area where you live for farms that sell turkeys. Before the interview, I had no idea how game birds felt. I guess Dr. Turkey really is a motivational speaker . . . or is that gobbler?
Written by: Mr. Smiley
Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater
Edited by: Christian Ryan, Joy Hammond

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Next Issue: Rerun Article: The Mysteries of Saint Nicholas

Monday, November 16, 2015

Rerun Article: Mac Dee Dee's First Harvest

Here is a section of Mac Dee Dee's farmland. Corn is very popular this time of year!

On 7, 2013, Mac Dee Dee and his family opened a farm in Riverville, New York with a mission – to use “old-fashioned” and organic methods of farming to grow and produce food that wouldn't harbor evil growth hormones and would also be a good place for the animals and plants they grow to spend their lives (until the day they're butchered of course). Remember that Bible verse that explains how we “shall reap what we sow”? Well, Mac Dee Dee did just that – that is, his first major harvest – on the 17th of September. My trusty, junior photographer, Daniel P. Smithwater, and I went to get an exclusive interview with Mac Dee Dee himself to learn more about the operation. He's quoted for saying, “I've always been so excited about this day! Of course, we've been harvesting vegetables, fruits and animal meats and animal products since we opened. But as everyone knows, most of the things farmers grow and produce (corn for example) are harvested big-time in the fall. So this is our first major harvest! I for one am so excited about event.” Mac Dee Dee went on to explain that their farm is approximately 50,000 acres of land and is the perfect place for growing all sorts of food to feed a large population of people. Many health food stores, organic grocers and local buyers have already started buying and (in the case of stores) reselling his products and, in Riverville at least, he's becoming quite popular. While my photographer and I were at the farm, Mac Dee Dee and the others were harvesting potatoes in one part of the farm, cantaloupes in another and corn in yet another. It looked like a lot of work to do! “You have to be so careful when you're doing potatoes,” says Mac Dee Dee. “When we harvest potatoes, we use a large hoe-like piece of machinery and drive it pull it across the potato fields using a tractor.” He went on to explain that they plant the potatoes in long rows. Earlier in the season, they had dug out long trenches and placed the potatoes in each trench. Then they cover the trenches with soil. As the season wears on, the potatoes they planted (called Mother potatoes) sprout baby potatoes of their own and since they grow outwards instead of straight down into the dirt, Mac Dee Dee and the other farmers pile more and more dirt on to keep them covered. “A green potato is a bad potato,” Mac Dee Dee explains. “Green potatoes are toxic, so we don't pick them for consumption and put them in compost instead.” Finally, during the harvest season, Mac Dee Dee and the other farmers work together and use the hoe-like machinery to pull the potatoes out of the soil and remove the top soil-layer. After this is done, they grab the potatoes and place them in their crates to prepare them to ship out. Compared to potatoes, harvesting corn, cantaloupes and the rest of the lot sounds like a piece of cake! (I think I'm going to make some cake this afternoon by the way . . . wait, I'm getting off topic!) Apples are also among the fruits to be harvested during this time of year. While we were at the farm, Mac Dee Dee let Daniel and I eat one, and boy was it sweet! I would have loved to share it with you guys, my readers, but it's kind of hard to do that in writing, sorry about that! In yet another part of this large farm, Mac Dee Dee's farmers were butchering cows, turkeys, chickens, pigs and other animals and gathering the eggs of chickens, geese and others. “We plan on selling a lot of turkey this year,” Mac Dee Dee tells me. “We all know how much people like to eat turkey during Thanksgiving and Christmas, and it's also organic. That's why we're produced hundreds and hundreds of turkeys in addition to the other animals we produce. But unlike most farms that keep them all cooped up, our animals are free-ranging within a (REALLY big) fenced area for them to live and feed naturally – that's why we need 50,000 acres of land.” We also checked out the milking area for the dairy cows. It's a huge place to house their hundreds of milking cows when it's milking time. While I was there, I got to hear the deafening sound of Mozart's music playing from large speakers. Mac Dee Dee says, “There's a rumor that cows produce more and better milk when Mozart music is playing, so we figured we might as well have it playing just in case it proves to be true!” But after milking time's over, not only is it a great relief to my eardrums, but also it's time for the cows to go back out to the pastures where they can graze, just like their ancestors did before the big commercial farms that keep cows locked up in tiny stalls all day long came about. Mac Dee Dee's farm is part of a growing movement to make America's eating habits better and therefore in prove better lives. “Our farm is so big that we're rivaling other non-organic farms. And that's a good thing, because it's time that we as farmers turn this eating thing around and get people to eat a better way, especially during the upcoming holiday season – to eat organic!”

Written by: Mr. Smiley
Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater
Edited by: Christian Ryan, Joy Hammond

Weekly Cartoons

Next Issue: Rerun Article: A Gobler's Protest

Monday, November 9, 2015

Rerun Article: Pie in a Glass and Turkeys?! Oh My!

Thanksgiving centers around food . . . and so does today's article! Read on to learn from Lizzy the Lizard how to bake some yummy Thanksgiving-themed treats!
Hey there everyone! Lizzy here! Thanksgiving is just around the corner and here's a recipe that will definitely make your mouth water . . . if you like pumpkin pie. It's practically like a smoothie!
  1. Gather 15-ounce can pumpkin, if you can't get a fresher form of it (not pumpkin pie mix!)
  2. 12-ounce can evaporated milk
  3. 1 cup of vanilla yogurt
  4. ¼ cup of sugar
  5. ¼ teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
  6. whipped cream
  7. cinnamon
Here's what needs to be done to create this treat:
  1. First pour the canned pumpkin and evaporated milk into a bowl
  2. Cover and refrigerate for at least 1 hour or overnight
  3. Second, combine pumpkin, milk, yogurt, sugar, and spice into a blender
  4. Blend until smooth
  5. Then pour into a cup
  6. Lastly, top with whipped cream and a dash of cinnamon.
Wait, don't go yet! This lizard's got another recipe and this is a fun one for kids. TURKEYS!
  1. Gather 4 tablespoons (½ stick) of butter
  2. 10-ounce bag of marshmallows
  3. 6 cups of Rice Krispies
  4. Chocolate sandwich cookies (you can use Oreo cookies if you like)
  5. Chocolate frosting
  6. And candy corn.
First . . .:
  1. Melt the butter over medium heat in a large saucepan
  2. Add marshmallows and stir until completely melted
  3. Remove the pan from heat and stir in cereal
  4. Let cool for 10 minutes
  5. While the mixture is cooling, twist apart the cookies and removing the filling (this is easier if the cookies are warm)
  6. Now you butter you're hands and shape the gooey cereal into 1 ½ -inch balls
  7. Next, make the tail by frosting the inside of the cookie half and pressing three candies into the frosting to make a fan shape
  8. Create the body by frosting the other cookie half and sticking it to the bottom of the Rice Krispie ball
  9. Add a little frosting below the candy corn and stick the tail onto the body
  10. Then stick another corn on the front of the Rice Krispie ball to make a head
You can use them to decorate the table and after dinner you can gobble them up! Happy Thanksgiving from Lizzy the Lizard!

Written by: Mr. Smiley
Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater
Edited by: Christian Ryan

Weekly Cartoons

Next Issue: Rerun Article: Mac Dee Dee's First Harvest