Thursday, February 11, 2016

Let's All Dance Like a Caudipteryx!

Though Chen the Caudipteryx looks like a wacky bird, he can pull off some sweet moves on the dance floor! By Matt Martyniuk Dinoguy2 - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0,
Alongside modern animals, dinosaurs and Dr. Dodo are given a lot of attention here at Animal Adventures Inc. (AAI.) But dinosaurs aren't the only animals that have been genetically engineered thanks to Animal Adventures Institute (a division of AAI.). One of these creatures in none other than a colorful animal called Caudipteryx zoui. Since we haven't really devoted much (or any) attention to this creature, my trusty, junior photographer, Daniel P. Smithwater and I decided to pay him a little visit to help our readers get familiar with him.

The Caudipteryx living at AAI. goes by the name of Chen, and when asked to describe himself, he is quoted for saying, “Well, firstly, I'm quite flattered that you'd be doing a special newspaper article about me, I'm poorly known. Anyways, I'm a Caudipteryx, as you already know. I'm a species of bird that's been found in Cretaceous China.” I asked why he was so poorly known. His response was. “Frankly, I'm not sure. Most extinct creatures aren't very well-known in the public eye. They only usually get famous if they've been in a movie or two. I mean, take Velociraptors. Before 1993, most people wouldn't have a clue what a raptor was. But after the movie Jurassic Park was made, based on the Jurassic Park Incident of the same year, Velociraptor is almost as famous as T. rex!”

Chen said that even though his species hasn't appeared in practically any movies, he is famous for being one of the first feathered “dinosaurs” found. “It's crazy,” he says, “evolutionists so anxious to prove their theory that dinosaurs evolved into birds believe that I am a feathered theropod (carnivorous) dinosaur!” So I asked Chen what the truth about his identification is. “Well, I'm actually a bird. See, in order for the theory of dino-to-bird evolution to be true, evolutionists believe they only need feathered dinosaurs to prove their theory. Therefore, any bird that has any similarity to dinosaurs is regarded as a transitional form. This is what Archaeopteryx – a true bird – is famous for: being the much-needed transitional form between dinosaurs and birds.” But Chen explained that his species really isn't good evidence that dinosaurs evolved into birds because according to evolutionists, Caudipteryx lived in the early Cretaceous Period, long after the first birds were around! “Even Archaeopteryx is a problem for evolutionists,” Chen says. “Evolutionists believe that Archaeopteryx – a true bird – lived in the late Jurassic Period, before the bird-like dinosaurs that supposedly evolved into birds. In fact, the earliest in the dino-to-bird evolutionary line (according to evolutionists) was a dinosaur that lived at the same time as Archaeopteryx with no confirmed evidence for the presence of feathers on it.” In closing of the topic of dino-to-bird evolution, Chen is quoted for saying, “Whatever evolutionists try to make of me, I am a unique species of bird, with a mosaic of non-transitional features. I have fully-formed feathers, a toothed beak and clawed wings. Other birds that aren't claimed to be transitional forms also have these features.”

I decided to question Chen upon the subject of his diet. “Well, I'm an omnivore,” says Chen. “Here at AAI. I eat a mixture of fruits, nuts and insects. Chef Rack-Coon fixes some of the best fruit and insect salads in the entire tri-state area! Here's an interesting tidbit about me: I may have teeth, but they're useless for chewing. So I'm designed to swallow small stones. The stones – called gastroliths – sit in my stomach, rolling around in order to grind up my food.”

Daniel couldn't help but inquire about Chen's feathers and whether or not he could fly. “No, I don't fly,” said Chen. “My wings are too short to get my body off the ground for long. Evolutionists love this fact, because to them, I'm still practically a dinosaur since I can't fly. But in truth, many modern birds are flightless, such as the ostrich (which, I might add, also bears clawed wings, but no one considers them  missing links!). My feathers are able to keep me aloft long enough some extended leaping. My species also uses them for impressing the females. Unfortunately, Dr. Steve hasn't cloned any other Caudipteryx yet. I should talk to him about that...anyway, these feathers are also really wonderful for busting some moves. When trying to attract a date, male Caudipteryx would often dance, flashing around their feathers in a brilliant display. They're also good at dancing at other times of the year too, check these moves out!” Then Chen demonstrated some of his dance moves. He waves his wings around in the air while lifting his beautiful tail (which has a feather-fan on the end). He also bobs his head and leaps into the air while performing his dance. I don't know about you, but I think he's pretty good at dancing.

So there you have it; now you know a little bit about the beautiful Caudipteryx, a unique species of ancient bird that also knows how to dance. In closing, Chen said, “I may not be the proof that dinosaurs evolved into birds that evolutionists are looking for (and thank goodness I'm not!), but I am still a wonderfully designed bird, fearfully and wonderfully made, by God Himself, our loving Creator!”

Written by: Mr. Smiley
Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater
Edited by: Christian Ryan

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Next Issue: Ligers Born at Riverville Zoo!

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Dr. Steve's New Dinosaurs of 2016

Yue-Yan the Yutyrannus is just one of the creatures Dr. Steve brought back from extinction.
Ah yes! The new year is upon us! And as usual, Dr. Steve Stevenson – head geneticist of Animal Adventures Institute – and his colleagues, especially his assistant Oliver Oviraptor have genetically-engineered a new batch of ancient creatures from the realms of the past thanks to fossils and amber discovered by paleontologist Dr. Samuel Adamson last summer. So my trusty, junior photographer, Daniel P. Smithwater, and I headed over to AAI to check out the new terrible lizards roaming the earth for the first time in over 4,000 years.

Dr. Steve is quoted for saying, “We're especially excited to announce the births of three extinct creatures we've brought back to life. This year, we successfully cloned Yue-Yan, a large Chinese predator called the Yutyrannus, Peter, a small parrot-beaked dinosaur called Psittacosaurus and Adeline, an ancient bird called Archaeopteryx.”

I decided to ask Dr. Steve what Yutyrannus actually was. He told me that Yutyrannus was a species of tyrannosaur, a cousin to the larger Tyrannosaurus rex. “I'm particularly glad to add Yutyrannus to our batch of genetically-engineered creatures because it is actually a rather new discovery,” Dr. Steve explains. “It's discovery was only announced in 2012. What also makes Yutyrannus unique is that even though it is a tyrannosaur, it's much more lightweight than T. rex, and has three fingers on relatively long arms rather than the two-fingered tiny arms we're used to seeing on T. rex.” Yutyrannus reaches about 30 feet in length and would have stalked the forests of ancient Cretaceous China, looking for prey. What did it eat? “We haven't found very many large species of herbivores in this region of China,” Dr. Steve explains, “but we do know Yutyrannus co-existed with a host of sauropods and a strange herbivorous dinosaur with sharp claws called Beipiaosaurus.”

Surprisingly, another dinosaur Dr. Steve and his assistants cloned is also from the same region of China: Psittacosaurus. “Psittacosaurus is a small member of the ceratopsian (horned) kind of dinosaur,” Oliver Oviraptor told me. “Ceratopsians were a much more varied group of dinosaurs than most people realize. While Triceratops is the most famous member of the group, with its two large brow horns and smaller nose horn, some ceratopsians have one large horn on the nose and no brow horns like Centrosaurus and Styracosaurus. Others have no nose horn at all, but instead possess cattle-like horns, as seen in Nasutoceratops. Some have a large bump on the end of the nose and not a horn at all, like Pachyrhinosaurus. And finally there are some ceratopsians that lack a horn, have a very small frill, like little sheep-sized Psittacosaurus.” He went on to explain that a feature all ceratopsians share with each other is a parrot-like beak. “Their beaks are rather similar to mine,” Oliver explained. “But while I use mine to scoop up fruits, nuts and small animals (none of whom reside here at Animal Adventures Inc.!), ceratopsians use their beaks to crop vegetation to eat. In fact, Psittacosaurus actually means “parrot lizard”, in reference to its parrot-like beak.”

It is also worth noting that Psittacosaurus is an interesting dinosaur in many other ways. For example, its tail is endowed with a double row of porcupine-like quills. As Peter has demonstrated, his species uses these quills for both display and for defense; upon shaking his tail, Peter can cast out loose quills. This is similar to what modern porcupines can do with their quills. But juts like modern porcupines, Psittacosaurus can't exactly aim and shoot their quills, contrary to popular belief, meaning they tend to fly in all directions...better stay out of the way when Psittacosaurus gets angry!

Dr. Steve said regarding Psittacosaurus that, “I didn't even know we would get the opportunity to clone this dinosaur. See, when Dr. Samuel Adamson came back from China, in addition to the fossils of Yutyrannus, he also found amber containing fossilized biting insects. It turned out that one of those insects was holding Psittacosaurus DNA inside its gut. Of course, we couldn't know what species it had sucked the blood from until we cloned it. Imagine my surprise when we got our first look at the Psittacosaurus. Absolute wonder.”

And finally, Dr. Steve wanted to show me a creature he is particularly proud of – an Archaeopteryx named Adeline. “I haven't been able to clone very many extinct birds,” he explained. “Until last year, the only one we've successfully cloned was Caudipteryx. Adding Archaeopteryx to our collection is a real treat.” Archaeopteryx was a species of perching bird uncovered from the Jurassic rock layers of Germany. When discovered in the 1800's, what made this creature such an incredible find was that Archaeopteryx represents the first fossil skeleton ever found with feathers. “Evolutionists like to use Archaeopteryx as proof that evolution occurred in the past,” Dr. Steve explained. “Proof that dinosaurs evolved into birds; because Archaeopteryx has many reptilian features, including a toothy jaw, clawed wings, a long bony tail and so on. However, these features occur in other extinct or living birds. Plus, Archaeopteryx's DNA, which we analyzed, clearly makes it distinct from dinosaurs.”

The wonders of paleontology, geology and genetics have once again allowed Dr. Steve Stevenson and his lab assistants to bring just a few more creatures back to life. “I hear Dr. Adamson will be going to Africa this summer,” Dr. Steve said. “I can't wait to see what fossils he brings back so that we may bring yet more animals out of extinction.”

Written by: Mr. Smiley
Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater
Edited by: Christian Ryan

Weekly Cartoon

Next Issue: Let's All Dance Like a Caudipteryx!

Friday, January 15, 2016

Rerun Article: School's Buzzing at Snowflake's Christian School for Animals

The Snowflake's Christian School for Animals is a newly opened school, a great place for animals to learn Mathematics, English, Science and many other skills.
Note: The article you are about to read describes the actions and what was said during Lizzy's first television interview with Snowflake's Christian School for Animals.

A Lizard is seen playing a game on her iPod.
“Umm, Miss we're on the air!” exclaims a voice behind the camera.
“Oops umm...Hi, this is Lizzy the Lizard and today I'm going to Mrs. Snowflake's Christian School for Animals (or SCSA), where the school year has started a bit earlier than usual. I, Lizzy, decided to interview some of the students and staff to see their opinion on the school.” “It's great, there's so many sports like Basketball, volleyball, track, and soccer,” exclaims an anxious joey, named Roo, as we walk down the hallway. “I'm trying out for basketball. The games area totally awesome! There's flags and banners...the best part is the food, there's...”
“Thanks for showing such enthusiasm, Roo,” I say.
“It's fun, Mrs. Hippo...I mean Mrs. Snowflake makes sure that kids in my grade get the education they need, but my favorite time is snack time!” states a first grader name, Jelly the Field Mouse. “You should go talk to my mom, Peanut or Butter, my little sister.”
“Peanut, Butter, and Jelly, huh um... How original,” I remark into the camera.
“It's time to go into the teacher's lounge,” I declare as I continue down the hallway. “Hello Lumpy," I ask a heffalump (elephant), "what do you think of the education here at SCSA?”
“Lizzy, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in class?” questions the heffalump.
“Umm I'm kind of doing a documentary of the school for a blog,” I answer before turning to the camera man, “We can delete that part, right?”
“Here we have the cafeteria, where the students eat and . . . um . . .” I walk over to the kitchen area. “What's you're take on the food here.”
“It's the best” exclaims the Penny the penguin as he slaps some fish-smelling paste with bits of fish parts in it on some bread. “I make it myself.”
“I think I'm gonna be sick!” I exclaim, camera zooms at me as I rush out of the room.
I finally return. The camera man takes a close up of my face as I say, “You don't....umm.. like regurgitate the food and serve it...right?”
“Nonsense, I only do that for Penguinia-Ann, my little sister.” the penguin reassures me.
“That's nice to know,” I exclaim, “Now let's get some feedback on how the food tastes.”
“It's magical!” exclaims a kindergartner name, Puff (the magic dragon).
“My mom's cooking is better,” remarks fourth grader, Snowball Hippo.
“I'll like peanuts,” states another fourth grader named, Butter the chipmunk.
I'm seen taking a spoonful of mac& cheese.
“This is good,” I exclaim, checking my watch. “Well it's almost time to go so this is Lizzy the Lizard coming from the Mrs. Snowflake's school for animals!”
The video ends with Lizzy gobbling up the Mac & cheese.

Written by: Lizzy the Lizard
Photographed by: Daniel P. Smithwater
Edited by: Christian Ryan, Joy Hammond & Mr. Smiley

Weekly Cartoons

Next Issue: Dr. Steve's New Dinosaurs of 2016