School's Buzzing at Snowflake's Christian School for Animals

The Snowflake's Christian School for Animals is a newly opened school, a great place for animals to learn Mathematics, English, Science and many other skills.

Note: The article you are about to read describes the actions and what was said during Lizzy's first television interview with Snowflake's Christian School for Animals.

A Lizard is seen playing a game on her iPod.

“Umm, Miss we're on the air!” exclaims a voice behind the camera.

“Oops umm...Hi, this is Lizzy the Lizard and today I'm going to Mrs. Snowflake's Christian School for Animals (or SCSA), where the school year has started a bit earlier than usual. I, Lizzy, decided to interview some of the students and staff to see their opinion on the school.” “It's great, there's so many sports like Basketball, volleyball, track, and soccer,” exclaims an anxious joey, named Roo, as we walk down the hallway. “I'm trying out for basketball. The games area totally awesome! There's flags and banners...the best part is the food, there's...”

“Thanks for showing such enthusiasm, Roo,” I say.

“It's fun, Mrs. Hippo...I mean Mrs. Snowflake makes sure that kids in my grade get the education they need, but my favorite time is snack time!” states a first grader name, Jelly the Field Mouse. “You should go talk to my mom, Peanut or Butter, my little sister.”

“Peanut, Butter, and Jelly, huh um... How original,” I remark into the camera.

“It's time to go into the teacher's lounge,” I declare as I continue down the hallway. “Hello Lumpy," I ask a heffalump (elephant), "what do you think of the education here at SCSA?”

“Lizzy, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in class?” questions the heffalump.

“Umm I'm kind of doing a documentary of the school for a blog,” I answer before turning to the camera man, “We can delete that part, right?”

“Here we have the cafeteria, where the students eat and . . . um . . .” I walk over to the kitchen area. “What's you're take on the food here.”

“It's the best” exclaims the Penny the penguin as he slaps some fish-smelling paste with bits of fish parts in it on some bread. “I make it myself.”

“I think I'm gonna be sick!” I exclaim, camera zooms at me as I rush out of the room.

I finally return. The camera man takes a close up of my face as I say, “You don't....umm.. like regurgitate the food and serve it...right?”

“Nonsense, I only do that for Penguinia-Ann, my little sister.” the penguin reassures me.

“That's nice to know,” I exclaim, “Now let's get some feedback on how the food tastes.”

“It's magical!” exclaims a kindergartner name, Puff (the magic dragon).

“My mom's cooking is better,” remarks fourth grader, Snowball Hippo.

“I'll like peanuts,” states another fourth grader named, Butter the chipmunk.

I'm seen taking a spoonful of mac& cheese.

“This is good,” I exclaim, checking my watch. “Well it's almost time to go so this is Lizzy the Lizard coming from the Mrs. Snowflake's school for animals!”

The video ends with Lizzy gobbling up the Mac & cheese.

Written by: Lizzy the Lizard

Photographed by: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan, Joy Hammond & Mr. Smiley

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The Speed Dashers Take Off . . . Slowly

The crowd went wild as the Flame Dashers "dashed" to the finish line last Tuesday.

Last Tuesday, a new event was held at Animal Adventures Inc. (AAI.) known as the Flame Dashers. What's so special about this event and what exactly is it? Well, it is technically a racing event that is held yearly by an organization called Racer's International and one prime location this year is, as mentioned before, AAI., and it was a great turn out. “I've always loved Animal Adventures Inc.,” says Gorge Philips, the British CEO of Racer's International, “and considering its location, I thought it would be a wonderful place to have the event. And as I suspected, it was a great turnout!” Within 30 minutes before the race began, a crowd of thousands of people went directly to the sectioned off area of AAI. where the race was being held. Before the race began, we had the opportunity to have a brief interview with AAI. resident, Sarah Bus Stop Guy to get her opinion on the race. She's quoted for saying, “I think this is going to be a pretty cool . . . event. I just hope it doesn't take so long to begin.” Finally, it was time for the race to begin and the ten-foot race track was set up and gasps were heard from the crowd as the contestants exited the truck and went to the starting line and . . . oh, did I forget to mention that the contestants were tortoises? Yes, you read right: the contestants are tortoises! When I asked Gorge if this event would be any better than other animal racing events such as the Inchworm Inch-a-thon and the Snail Slide-a-thon, his response was, “Oh, much better! Those events are so boring! Three feet in three days, give me a break. And the winner tortoise gets a much bigger prize: blueberries!” Did you know that the audience gets to take part in this race too? They get to vote for which tortoise they think will win the race, and everyone who votes on the tortoise that ends up winning gets to take part in a full-course dessert consisting of the following choices: 100 flavors of ice cream, 1,050 types of candy, 300 different types of cake and about 1,000 other various desserts (the amount of food may seem like a lot, but you also have to remember there were thousands of people in the audience). There were five contestants in this race. There's:

1. Wilbur: #1, the third largest tortoise
2. Destiny: #2, the the fourth largest tortoise
3. Chuck: #3, the largest tortoise
4. Lumber: #4, the second largest tortoise
5. Sophie: #5, the smallest tortoise

With a loud gunshot, the Flame Dashers started the race in a slow and steady pace. The crowd began to cheer and shout loudly. It was a deafening sound! I found this part of the race . . . not boring, but it was pretty interesting. Some of the audience left to get refreshments while the racers “ran” to the halfway mark. By the time the tortoises reached the halfway mark (30 minutes later), they were given a break while some folks gave a halftime concert. Here's a list of the singers and what they sang, respectively:

1. Why I'm So Blue, by Bluebuck and the Bullfrog brothers
2. Barbara Allen, by Bluebuck and Bully the Bullfrog
3. Boola, Boola, by Kay V. Mon and Bullfrog brothers
4. Tomorrow, by Belle Black Bear, Kim Plumbtree & Violet
5. My Country Tis of Thee, led by Gorge Philips
6. God Save the Queen, led by Gorge Philips

After the final song, the second half of the race begun. This second half was technically the tortoises “racing” back to the finish line. Thirty minutes later, it was a tie between Chuck and Lumber and they were desperately to get past the other. They're blockage was causing a traffic jam with the other tortoises . . . except Sophie who raced under the other giants and the race was back on. And the winner is . . . SOPHIE! Her small size helped her reach the finish line and win the reward: a yummy pile of blueberries! The event was a success and Racer's International received lots of donations. “All donations will be going to many organizations,” Gorge explained, “including ones that deal with animal shelters, animal welfare organizations, the National Wildlife Federation, homeless shelters and etc.” Now that the event was over, I took the chance to get an interview with Melody Clark (Sarah Bus Stop Guy's married sister) to get her opinion on the race. Her response was a simple, “Boring.” As for me, I found the race exciting during the end of it when a certain feeling of anticipation was in the air as we waited to see who would win. With the race now over, I think it's safe to say we've added a whole new dimension to the old saying, “Slow and steady wins the race,” because those Flame Dashers were very slow indeed!

Written by: Mr. Smiley

Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan

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Knock, Knock! Who's There? Gator's Here!

This 12-foot alligator attempted to get into the house of Paul and Dianna Wellworth due to smelling barbecued chicken grilling in the backyard. Good thing they checked to see who was ringing the doorbell before opening the door!

Knock, Knock! Who's there? Al. Al who? Alligator's here, my dear! OK, maybe I'm not that good at knock, knock jokes, but this really does apply to what happened last Wednesday. Two Riverville locals named Mr. Paul and Mrs. Dianna Wellworth were out in their backyard enjoying the summer afternoon. To find out exactly what happened, my trusty, junior photographer, Daniel P. Smithwater and I went to interview them. “We just thought we'd enjoy the afternoon,” said Paul, “so I . . . popped up the grill and started grillin' barbequed chicken while Dianna read a good book.” It was a rather boring afternoon, so they decided to invite some of the neighbors to enjoy the afternoon grilling with them, so Diana went into the house to make some phone calls and the smell of barbecued chicken floated into the air, and this was bound to attract some attention, maybe even some uninvited dinner guests . . . Within the first 15 minutes, about four-fifths of the neighbors they'd invited arrived and Paul was putting the finishing touches on his BBQ chicken when suddenly, the doorbell rung once again. Dianna is quoted for saying, “So naturally, I went over to get the door since Paul was busy. I originally thought that these were the rest of our dinner guests. As a precaution I . . . [look] out the peephole to make sure I'm opening the door to the right people. But this time, I saw no one there and none of the guests we invited were that short! Next I decided to check out the window that was next to the front door to see who it was, and to my surprise . . . I thought I saw a big scaly lizard at my door!” Dianna went on to explain that she couldn't believe her own eyes. However, her eyes had indeed deceived her, as no lizard was present at her front door step. She went out the backdoor to see this “lizard”, when she found that it wasn't a lizard after all – instead, it was a 12-foot alligator with its body leaning up against the door! It's right front leg was inches from the doorbell! She went back to get her husband and he was pretty surprised as well. “I didn't believe Dianna when she told me a gator was at our door because . . . well, that's just not something alligators normally do!” Paul says. “When the word 'alligator' comes to mind, you think of it stalking in the water not the front door step of an urban neighborhood! And I certainly didn't believe a gator was at our door because, as far as I knew, alligators didn't live up here in New York!” Well, you can be pretty sure that the neighbors Paul and Dianna had invited soon heard about the alligator and they started to use their cameras to take a few photos (and all the while, the alligator was trying to get in the door). Paul decided that before the alligator got ferocious, he'd better call the authorities. So he called the police, and the police got Wildlife Removal Inc. to come have the alligator taken back to where it lived. “I had never heard of such an event,” says Pete Wilkins, one of the wildlife wranglers involved in the alligator's capture. “But we've located where the gator came from, so he'll be back home in no time.” It turned out that the gator wasn't wild, but actually from the local New York Africa Zoo (his keeper apparently forgot to lock the cage). Upon his return, the alligator is now happily swimming in the Gator Pond exhibit with his pond-mates and Paul, Dianna and their invited neighbors were finally were able to have their chicken dinner in peace. But why on earth would the alligator come to the Wellworth's in the first place? We put that question to zookeeper Manny Minlens, and she's quoted for saying, "Alligators have a superb sense of smell and the smell of barbecuing chicken probably lured our gator to their house and tried in vain to get into the house." All, I as the reporter can say is that, after reporting on a story like this, it's a fair bet that I'll always remember to see who is knocking before opening the front door!

Written by: Mr. Smiley

Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan, Joy Hammond

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Wrapped Up In Duck Tape!

Guess what this wallet's made of . . . if you guessed duck tape (?) you're right! Wait a minute? I can make a wallet out of duck tape? Read today's story to learn how!

I, Lizzy the Lizard was determined to make something fantastic for my best friend's birthday. I looked around and spotted three rolls of duct tape. All different colors and shapes. Cool, sounds fun right? Well, as I was deciding whether to make a purse or a wallet, So I went on the computer to check some ideas. Turns out that there was a lot of great ideas on how to use duct tape. You could make bracelets or bag. There's so many different duct tapes, I wish I owned them all! After pondering for a long time, I decided to invest my three rolls of duct tape to make a wallet! I anxiously printed out the instruction and hurried to cut the tape which are as follows:

1.  Cut the tape at a length of 8.5 inches and set it on a flat surface, have the sticky side facing up. I cut the pocka-dotted duct tape and placed it down on a nearby table. It was tricky getting it off my fingers!
2. Cut another piece of tape the same length. Then set it on top of the other duct tape piece so that their sticky sides touch. Only meet the piece half down and stick it on.
3. Fold the sticky end of the first tape down and over  the second.
4. Flip the two strips over and place a third strip sticky side down to cover the sticker remains of the second strip.
5. Continue flipping and extending the width of your duct tape sheet until it measures 7 inches from top to bottom.
6. Fold the last sticky edge over the rim and trim it. Make the shape of a rectangle 7 by 8 inches.
7. Fold the rectangle in half length wise an tape the two sides close to make a pocket.
8. Fold the wallet in half. That is just instructions for a simple wallet. To get card pockets and stuff look it up on the Internet.

I can't wait to bring my friend this wallet, well signora!

Written by: Lizzy Lizard

Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan, Mr. Smiley and Joy Hammond

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New Cloning Techniques for Really Old Creatures

Dr. Steve (top) is among the scientists trying new techniques for cloning extinct marine creatures such as this mosasaur (bottom)

How exactly have scientists been cloning dinosaurs? Well, it is done in several different ways, but Jurassic Park's technique was to extract DNA from mosquitoes that bit the dinosaur's blood when alive. The mosquitoes eventually landed on the trunk of a tree and got stuck in the sap. After a long time, the tree sap would get hard and become fossilized, just like a dinosaur bone, preserving the mosquitoes inside. Using sophisticated techniques, they extract the preserved blood and they have dinosaur DNA! Then, they insert the DNA into the embryos of alligator eggs (which were from a farm, not a wild nest by the way) and they hatch a baby dinosaur. Ever since Jurassic Park closed due to escaping carnivores, scientists have been cloning these legendary beasts. The technique I mentioned works well for dinosaurs, but lately, scientists have turned their interests to other creatures – marine reptiles! And due to certain “problems” scientists come across when trying to clone them, they are trying new and exciting techniques. To get the latest scoop, my junior photographer, Daniel P. Smithwater and I went to Dr. Steve Stevenson, the chief geneticist at AAI, also known as Animal Adventures Institute. He used to work with the company that was trying to create Jurassic Park, InGen, before the park closed down and he happily told us what's new in the cloning world. When asked what's up with cloning sea reptiles, he responded saying, “As you know, scientists have been interested in cloning dinosaurs since Jurassic Park. But recently, we've turned our attention to other types of animals – marine reptiles. 'What's the problem?' you ask? When cloning dinosaurs, we get our DNA used in cloning from mosquitoes trapped in amber right? Well, have you ever seen mosquitoes go swimming and suck the blood of sea creatures underwater?” Dr. Steve explained that contrary to popular belief, dinosaurs only lived on land. The flying and swimming “dinosaur-like” reptiles, that God created on the Fifth Day of the week to create everything, were not dinosaurs (that's right! Pterosaurs, plesiosaurs, mosasaurs, pliosaurs and ichthyosaurs aren't dinosaurs). So since mosquitoes can't swim, getting DNA from extinct marine reptiles proved tricky. “When Jurassic Park was preparing to open (which of course it never did),” says Dr. Steve, “we managed to clone some marine reptiles called mosasaurs (these creatures were sort of like monitor lizards with flippers that could grow to lengths of over 50 ft.) through the same process that we cloned dinosaurs, but it was tricky, since mosquitoes that bit marine reptiles are rare in amber.” The next obvious question I asked Dr. Steve was how the mosquito even bit the marine reptile in the first place. Dr. Steve is quoted for saying, “All we know is that a few did. I have a theory though: say a mosasaur washed up on a beach or perhaps swam in a swamp that was connected to the ocean and died. If part of the mosasaur's body is above water, a mosquito could suck blood, but this would be rare. This is why we've had trouble cloning marine reptiles.” Here at AAI, Dr. Steve has managed to clone a few marine reptiles, but through a different process. “The process through which we cloned extinct marine reptiles for Animal Adventures Institute was also tricky, but a little bit easier than the Jurassic Park technique. Instead of extracting it from mosquitoes, we got it straight from unfossilized sea reptile bones that have been uncovered by our dig team led by Dr. Samuel Adamson and his wife, Indiana. In fact, since Jurassic Park closed, I think we're the only science team in the world that has succeeded in cloning marine reptiles.” However, new science tricks may prove cloning extinct reptiles much easier, as Dr. Steve explains. “You see, my assistant, Oliver Oviraptor (yes, he's a dinosaur), suggested that perhaps other animals bit extinct marine creatures. So I did some research and, to my amazement, I learned that there was such a creature – marine leech-like parasites!” Dr. Steve also told me that these leech-like parasites have been found encased in, not amber, but in ice! You see, after the Flood of Noah's time, the Ice Age began and ice caps appeared at the poles. These leech-like parasites would suck the blood of marine reptiles and if the marine reptile was in water too cold for the parasite, the parasite would drop off and get frozen in the water, where it was turned to ice. “And these parasites are now being uncovered in ice packs near both the North and South Pole.” He also began to say that these samples are still under study, so whether they contain enough DNA to clone something is still a mystery. But hopefully, this will open a whole new world when it comes to cloning. In closing, I asked Dr. Steve if we should be expecting “Cretaceous Sea World Adventure Park” anytime soon, and today, I'll close with his response. “Don't give your hopes up. We're still studying these amazing parasites that once bit marine reptiles. But with a little hope, and a lot of providence, a 'Sea World' version of Jurassic Park might be possible . . . and if we do, let's hope they don't cause havoc!

Written by: Mr. Smiley

Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan and Joy Hammond

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What Cake Pops? It's . . . Cake Pops!

For today's article, we've decided to devote it to baking one thing in particular - Watermelon-shaped Cake Pops! But there are other types of cake pops you can make too. What a variety!

Hey there everyone, Lizzy the Lizard here and I'm in the kitchen with my younger sister, Lily. Did I mention that she would make a great chef someday? She watches cooking shows and reads recipe books. Lily is always asking if we could bake something, like cupcakes. Well today she plans on making a batch of watermelon-shaped cake pops with mom. It sounds delicious, can't wait to try them! I decided to ask why she wanted to bake today. "I'm always in a baking mood," she replied, "I just love to bake!" I decided to ask her what ingredients were needed. "You have to have 1 box of white cake mix (Betty Rocker super moist preferred, or you could make your own . . . but that's a whole other process!), 1/4 teaspoon of pink paste food coloring, 3/4 cup of vanilla frosting, 3/4 cup of mini semisweet chocolate chips, 32 lollipop sticks, 1 bag of candy melts, 1 large block white plastic foam, 1 bag (16 oz) of green candy melts, and 1 cup of light green candy melts," Lily the lizard said. "Hey do you mind teaching our readers how to make these delicious treats?" I asked her. "Well you start off by heating the overnight to 350 degrees and spraying a 13 by 9 inch pan with cooking spray. Make and bake the cake mix and use water, oil, and egg whites while adding pink paste food color. Then let the cake cool completely," said Lily. I watched as mom and Lily baked a cake an then laid it down on the counter to cool off. As the cake was chilling, Lily took a line cookie sheet with waxed paper and laid it down on another part of the counter. She checked the cake and then crumbled it up in a large bowl. "Why did you do that?" I asked, confused. "That's how you make the cake pops." Lily explained. She added frosting and the chocolate chips into the mix and stirred it up. "Here's a fun part to me!" she exclaimed. "You take some of the mix and you shape it into a ball or an oval. You should be able to get at least 32 of them. Then you place them carefully on the cookie sheet and freeze them until their firm by putting them in the freezer. Once firm, you transfer the balls into the refrigerator." Lily, mom, and I decided to watch a movie while we waited for the pops to become firm. "Here's were it gets harder to explain," said Lily, "I think mom can explain it better." My Mom was happy to explain (she was also pretty excited to be quoted for the newspaper too). "You remove the cake balls from the fridge," she told us. "Then dip the tip of one lollipop stick into the melted white candy and insert it into one cake ball, no more than halfway in. Then you dip each cake ball into the melted white candy and cover it. After that, you poke the other end of the stick into the foam block but we just used an empty shoe-box and poked holes into it. Do it with all of the other cake balls. Then let them sit in the fridge until their dry meaning until the candy melt has hardened. After that, dip the cake balls in the green candy melt and cover it all up. Then set it back in the fridge." I watched as Lily took a lollipop stick and dipped one of the ends in the white chocolate. I saw her take out one of the cake balls and plunge the stick into it but not all the way. Then she twirled the cake ball around carefully in the bowl of white candy melts. Lily walked over to the fridge and put the other end of the stick into a hole on the top of a box for the cake pop to stand. "Later, after its been dipped in green and dried, we use a toothpick and decorate the cake balls with the light green candy to make it look like a watermelons. You know watermelons need some stripes!" Lily said, excitedly. After the cake pops were done, we each took one and are it. "Wow these are delicious!" I exclaimed. "And it really looks like you bit into a watermelon that has seeds, how cool. "Well that's it for now folks, tune in next time . . . to see me all wrapped . . . in duck tape? Bye, I've got to get another one of these cake pops, it's delicious!

Written by: Lizzy Lizard

Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan, Joy Hammond and Mr. Smiley

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Time flies here at Smiley's News and believe it or not, this business is almost a year old! On August 15, 2013, we'll commemorate our first birthday! Did you know you can celebrate too? Please look through the previous newspapers we've written and send us a list of your favorite via email. Send them to the address, animaladventures@aol.com or animaladventures1314@gmail.com. On the 15th of August, we'll post the articles that people liked the most!

PS. All submissions must be submitted by August 8th.

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We here at Smiley’s News, I have been working night and day to get articles ready. I could really use some help! So we are looking for people interested in writing (especially kids and teens). If you are interested, PLEASE(!) send an email to animaladventures@aol.com and save me from working night and day! I’m exhausted!

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Old Mac Dee Dee Had a Farm . . .

The Dee Dee's at their farm. They have a wide range of animals and plants here and best of all, everything is organic!

We all know the rest of the famous song, “Old MacDonald Had a Farm”: “. . . e-i-e-i-o. And on that farm he had some chickens, e-i-e-i-o. With a cluck here and a cluck there . . .” When you think of your typical farm , you think of a rooster crowing at the crack of dawn to wake up the farmer and his family. So they can do their chores. The happy cows are in the barn ready for milking, eggs need to be collected from happy chickens, happy pigs and happy turkeys need to be fed, happy sheep need to be sheathed and etc. This is what many people think farms look like. But the way we've made farms has changed drastically over the years! This is how farms were decades ago. Unlike the fairytale big red farms of people's imagination, most real farms are huge (gray, brown or some other color) buildings that house the animals and crops once they've finished growing.  These large buildings are no more than storehouses. The poor animals on most modern farms are cooped together, often in dark and crammed conditions. Most of these animals don't see sunlight and are kept in tiny cages filled with manure and germs. Farmers spray special chemicals so most of the animals don't get sick, and when some do get sick, they're kept with the healthy animals! This is not the farms of yesteryear! And I won't even get into how many farms kill their animals! It's just plain cruel! Instead of just killing them without misery, chickens for instance are boiled in boiling hot water to take their feathers off . . . while still alive! Oops! I guess I did start explaining how they're killed, didn't I? But I'd say that I made my point – modern farms aren't the once we grow up with. Now don't get me wrong, not all modern farms are as cruel as the ones I described, but that's probably the majority of modern farms and they're increasing by the hundreds. And this isn't healthy for us, the consumers either. The growth hormones they use to make the animals as big as they get are actually carried on even in death, and guess who receives the effect of the growth hormones: us! No wonder many of us are giants today!

Well, some farmers don't want to make farms like the ones described. Take the new one that's opening up just outside of Riverville, New York. The farm, entitled Mac Dee Dee Farm, is run by Mac Dee Dee and he intends on making a type of new generation farm. My trusty junior photographer, Daniel P. Smithwater and I decided to check him out for an interview. “Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted to be a farmer,” says Dee Dee. “But when I read about all the awful stuff going on with many modern farms and how the food they put in grocery stores is affecting people's bodies, I felt my calling was to do something about it and make a change.” Dee Dee's farm is a large 50,000 acre property and has all the things a typical farm has: cows, chickens, turkeys, geese, pigs, horses, sheep, goats and he even has a few alpacas. He runs his farm with the rest of his family: his wife Mrs. Jules Dee Dee, their kids, James and Timothy Dee Dee and some volunteered helpers.

So why is Dee Dee's farm different from most others? Mr. Dee Dee is quoted for saying, “Well, first of all, we don't use growth hormones and pesticides and all that other garbage. All the stuff we put into our food – plant or animal – such as growth hormones and pesticides is still present and active in the organism after death and we humans buy this food and consume not only the food, but the hormones and pesticides as well. Most, but not all, modern farmers want the more money, and they get more money by making these animals and plants bigger than they should be. Some of the animals that receive growth hormones get so big they can't even stand, let alone walk around because their body can't support their weight. We don't give any of our products, plant or animal, growth hormones or pesticides. Second of all, we don't keep the animals cooped up in these large barns with no room to move around. This isn't healthy for the animals, or the people who will eat the animals.” Mac Dee Dee instead keeps his animals free-roaming, so his farm is called a “Free-Roam Farm”. Now unlike even most free-roam farms today, the animals have a large enclosure and are allowed to eat grass and behave like their wild counterparts. When it comes time to killing the animals, he kills quickly so they don't suffer and before taking the skin and feathers off. As I already said, some farms do this while they're still alive. “And we rarely have a problem with wild carnivores,” says Dee Dee. “But on the occasions we have coyotes or bears attacking the livestock, I don't kill them. They have a right to live too. Besides, most of them make a kill and move on. We haven't really had a problem with them sticking around to eat much livestock, but if we ever do, I'm just going to have the wildlife specialists move them to a different location. Too many farmers just shoot their problems away when the wild ecosystems need their top predator.” When asked what her opinion on helping her husband run the farm, Mrs. Jules says, “I enjoy it, I really do. I mean, it's one of the few true free-roam farms and it's just nice to run a farm like they did when my grandparents were growing up.” Running a farm like the Dee Dee's may not bring all that much money in the short run, but in the long run, these kinds of farms do the best. It's my hope that other farms around the country will do the same.

Written by: Mr. Smiley

Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan and Joy Hammond

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Next Issue: What Cake Pops? It's . . . Cake Pops!

The Not-So-Bird-Brained Crow

The Crow is a very intelligent bird!

Hey there, this is Lizzy the lizard reporting from around the neighborhood. I've been scouting these common black birds...the crows or are they ravens? I decided to do some research and now have a bit of respect for these feathered creatures. Ravens are taller then crows. An average size of a raven is 25 inches while an average crow's size is 18! Another way to distinguish the difference between the two birds is their beaks. A crow's beak is thicker compared to the ravens long, curved beak. A raven's call is deep and croaking while the crow's sets a type of musical tone. Did you know that these birds have clever ways of getting their food? Most clever ideas deal with opening nuts. Birds dot have a strong beak to break open nuts, like a nutcracker, instead they have to find was to break open the shell. These crows and ravens have many clever ways of getting the nuts. They pick up and nut and fly extremely high ten they drop the nut on a hard surface, breaking the shell. There are reports of crows putting nuts near parked car tires, as the car drove, it would roll over the nut and it would break. I'd have to give that idea a score of 100! Here's a scary fact: crows and ravens are smarter then humans! It's a scientific fact! They have a higher HQ ten you! Anyway, these birds have a very clear and accurate memory. Although you can't remember which crow or raven you've seen, these birds remember your face! If you mistreat one of these birds, they remember your face and tell their offspring and other of their kids. Word gets around that you are dangerous and must be got rid of! So they hang up and attack you! So you better watch out and make sure you treat these feathered friends nicely.

The Raven is a very alert bird

An American Crow near the water's edge

Written by: Lizzy Lizard

Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan, Joy Hammond and Mr. Smiley

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We here at Smiley’s News, I have been working night and day to get articles ready. I could really use some help! So we are looking for people interested in writing (especially kids and teens). If you are interested, PLEASE(!) send an email to animaladventures@aol.com and save me from working night and day! I’m exhausted!

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Next Issue: Old Mac Dee Dee Had a Farm . . .

A Hairy Experiment

The Hair Grazer - the greatest thing since sliced bread - is an amazing gadget that is able to cut hair without pulling and tugging like a normal pair of hair clippers!

As many of you might have noticed, I'm not that big on haircuts. Contrary to popular opinion, I'm not bald, the little bit of hair I do have is the same color as my scalp. But as you might have noticed, I don't exactly have much hair to cut! For most people, a haircut is a nice thing to have every once and a while. I mean, without haircuts, we'd all look a little bit like woolly cave-people! Hair comes in lots of varieties, but some varieties can be a real pain in the head to cut. Take African-American hair for instance. In men, it's often curly as it grows longer and for many people it's harder to get cut. Well, our hairy prayers might be answered with a new revolutionary gadget from Dr. James Crowferd (the same guy whoinvented the car that runs on air in an article we wrote last year) and Dr. Harry Luis of Vassar College, USA. It's called, (drum roll please) . . . the Hair Grazer! My trusty, junior photographer, Daniel P. Smithwater and I went to see Dr. James and Harry at Vassar College to learn more about this fantastic invention. “We knew many people have struggled with getting their haircuts for ages,” said Dr. James. “We completely understand their troubles. I mean, some hair clippers just aren't made for some types of hair. They technically pull and tug on the hair until it comes out, which leads the receiver of the haircut to run screaming out the door in pain. That's why we invented the Hair Grazer.” While the Hair Grazer may look more like a fake ladybug, it does have its uses, or so I'm told. When asked how the Hair Grazer works, Dr. Harry is quoted for saying, “Ah, yes. The Hair Grazer. Nifty little invention I must say. It works just as its name suggests; instead of yanking the hair out of your head, it gracefully 'grazes' over your head. You place it on your head and it latches onto your scalp. After turning it on, you just relax as the Hair Grazer slowly moves across your head, 'grazing' on the hair as it goes, kind of like a cow . . . minus the smelly mess cows leave behind of course! Then after it's finished, it will make a little 'dinging' sound and you remove the device from your head, empty the hair in the garbage (or compost heap, hair is actually a great compost item!) and bingo! You're done! The whole process takes thirty minutes to an hour depending on the coarseness of the hair.” He also explained how the Hair Grazer is run off of nothing but rice or pasta (!) and is environmentally-friendly (but be prepared for raised prices on rice and pasta!). I then asked Dr. James why it's shaped like a ladybug, and his response was, “Well, it's because we think ladybugs are real cute.” The Hair Grazer will be mass-produced and found in stores all over the nation. So if you're one of those people who hate getting haircuts, your days of hoping for better ways are over! Thanks to ingenious scientists like Dr. James Crowferd and Dr. Harry Luis, the Hair Grazer has come to rescue you! I wonder what those two will invent next . . .

Written by: Mr. Smiley

Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan

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We here at Smiley’s News, I have been working night and day to get articles ready. I could really use some help! So we are looking for people interested in writing (especially kids and teens). If you are interested, PLEASE(!) send an email to animaladventures@aol.com and save me from working night and day! I’m exhausted!

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Next Issue: TBD (To Be Determined), Sorry for the inconvenience.

The History of Pizza!

An all-time American favorite - Pizza!

 I looked around for something new to see when I realized I was hungry for lunch. Suddenly, I smelled a sweet aroma and hurried over to where it was. It was a pizza parlor! Yum! I love pizza! I ordered my pizza with pepperoni and some flies then I sat down. I noticed a black bird near the street...it's a crow!....or maybe it's a raven, I really can't tell them apart. I was too starving to follow the bird. I looked at the pizza pie in front of me and my mouth watered! I gobbled up each slice one by one, delicious! Pizza has a very fun and interesting history! Did you know that Americans eat 350 slices of pizza every second? Which means that everyone eats about 23 pounds of pizza each  year (not including lizards, like me, who mostly eats flies and sorts)! People have put so many different toppings on the pizza including, peanut buyer and jelly, bacon and eggs, mashed potatoes, sweet corn, eel, squid, coconut, curry, pickled finger, minced lamb, cottage cheese, and green peas! Wow! That's some strange toppings (wonder when they'll have fly pie! I mean fly topping on pizza)! Would you choose one of those toppings? Did you know that around the early years of A.D, foods similar to our pizza existed before Jesus even walked the earth? Pizza became a word in Naples, Italy. Pizza was to describe the spicy flat bread in their language, 1000A.D. 1500's, tomatoes were tried in Europe to South America. Because of its redness, people thought that the tomatoes were poisonous! 1700's, pizza was served as a strange dish in the cities of Europe. In the 1830's, the first pizzeria opened in Naples, called the Port'Alba. Fascinating fact, the oven lining for the bakery's wood-fired oven was made from lava rocks from Mount Vesuvius. In 1889, pizza was born! Because the queen of Italy, Queen Margherita wanted to try this pizza so Raffaele wanted to bake something patriotic. He used the colors of their flag; green, white and red for his pizza. The tomatoes were red, basil and oregano for green but then he was in a predicament. You see his pizza crust wasn't white enough, he came up with plan. He added white cheese (no one thought of that as a topping) and the pizza became a success. In 1943, Ike Sewell and Ric Ricardo invented Chicago- style pizza. In 1945, the veterans of World War II brought home a taste of pizza and it became a hit. Frozen pizza was commercialized in 1957. California introduced, "designer" pizza, letting people choose different varieties for their pizza. The most amazing and delicious thing happened in December of 1990. Norwood Hypermarket in South Africa baked a pizza that filled half a football field and weighed nearly 27,000 pounds! It used up 10,000 pounds of flour and lots of pounds of cheese and onions ( yuk onions! Not my favorite choice). Of course naturally, you'd never think that a lizard, like me, would know such stuff and get years right and all but I'm a talented lizard. A lizard with a blue notebook, a notebook recorded with almost everything I know in it. Yup, okay I admit I'm not that smart...I saw a cardboard sign on the table, where I'm eating, and read off it. Anyway, I should get going. Oh dear...I think I forgot my wallet! Ahhhhhh this check is for seven dollars. It's the flies, I knew it! Hmmm well, gotta go, I have to find my wallet and pay for the pizza. This is Lizzy the Basilisk Lizard reporting live at.....I really don't know where I am.....oh well, goodbye! 

Written by: Lizzy Lizard

Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan, Joy Hammond and Mr. Smiley

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We here at Smiley’s News, I have been working night and day to get articles ready. I could really use some help! So we are looking for people interested in writing (especially kids and teens). If you are interested, PLEASE(!) send an email to animaladventures@aol.com and save me from working night and day! I’m exhausted!

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Next Issue: A Hairy Experiment