|Mr. Fish, Dr. Dodo, Otis Ostrich, Dr. Samuel Adamson (the man with the purple hat), Mr. Gregor (the man with the yellow sweater) and the two guards are pondering the disappearance of the Love Vase.|
The Riverville Museum of Natural History is a great place to go if you want to learn about the ancient world. They have sections for Egyptians, World War I, the Civil War, the Revolutionary War, dinosaurs, ancient Greece and etc. If you want to, they even have a special section that having to deal with romance in the ancient world. And you can go there anytime you want (provided the museum is open) and see what ever exhibit you want to . . . that is until last Friday. One of the exhibits features the beautiful Love Vase from Rome (which is predictable considering Rome is often called the “City of Romance”). What is the Love Vase? Well, the Love Vase was a gift to Baroness Josephine on her 25th birthday from Baron Johnny Smithson. He made this vase in 1775 with his own two hands especially for her, his sweetheart (I personally have no idea why this vase is in the “ancient section”, because 1775 isn’t very old at all!). Now unlike many romance stories which end in tragedy, this one went on without a hitch. The two were wed on February 14, 1776. The marriage went on wonderfully. But the Love Vase was a different story. The Love Vase was an obvious beauty, and it had its admirers, but perhaps the person who admired it most was Johnny’s own brother, Woodward Smithson. He was very envious of Josephine and wanted the Vase for himself. After trying to buy it from his brother, he tried to steal it. However, he was busted and arrested. But he swore that one day, he or his descendants would one day have that vase! (Other than that, the lives of this married couple went on without a hitch) As the years rolled by, the Smithson’s passed it down from generation to generation until finally when one generation that had since moved to America decided that since the vase was so old, that it belonged in a museum for safe keeping. Anyway, back to last Friday! Mr. Gregor, Samuel Adamson, Dr. Dodo and Mr. Fred Fish were taking a walk through the museum and when they passed by the Love Vase exhibit, they noticed something peculiar – it was gone! Despite two guards standing at the exhibit all day long, and the museum doors being locked at night and guarded with security cameras, someone had taken the vase! “We were literally just strolling through the museum and I noticed the vase was missing,” says Mr. Fish. “I haven’t the slightest idea what happened to it.” The two guards named Phil Burton and Edward Ludlow S. are clueless to how this happened. “I was standing here all day long!” says Phil. “There is no way someone could take it! Well, at least I was here most of the day . . .” Phil then went on to explain that on Friday morning, he did leave to take a five-minute bathroom break. When he came back to the exhibit, he didn’t notice it was gone. Edward is quoted for saying, “I have been here all day long! There is no possible way that someone could steal it! I mean, they’d have to have been transparent.” The vase is a very valuable item, priced at over $9,000,000 in the United States. The guards said that they believe the vase went missing around 6 o’ clock in the morning, just before the museum opened, but they didn’t know it was missing until Mr. Fish and his friends showed up. I then asked if they had seen any suspicious activity before or after the incident. Edward says, “Nope. Nothing abnormal . . . actually, I saw a kid with green hair walk by and I also saw a dog that could whistle, but other than that, nope!” I then asked Dr. Dodo if he had seen any peculiar behavior. “Well, we were near the museum around 5 o’ clock this morning having a Bible study and I noticed a big black truck that said the W. H. Smithson’s Hardware Company Inc., but I didn’t think anything of it. I sure hope . . . [they will] find the vase soon, because I kind of like the exhibit – a testimony of a successful marriage-relationship, something that’s quite rare in this modern age where divorce rates are so high!” The museum co-owner, Otis Ostrich is a little anxious about the whole thing (this is the same ostrich that was recently elected as President of the Town Board; believe it or not, he does have time to co-own the museum in his free time). “I just hope they find that vase before it gets out of the country,” says Otis. “Because if it does, next thing you know it, it will be seen on EBay or Craig’s List or something. That would be just awful and we’d have little chance getting it back!” So let’s pray and hope that this vase will appear soon!
Written by: Mr. Smiley
Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater
Edited by: Christian Ryan
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Next Issue: The Love Box Tradition