Harvest Day Special - The Great Pumpkin: Myth or Reality?

The Great Pumpkin spotted walking back to the pumpkin patch.

One character surrounds Harvest Day more than any others, and that character is no doubt the Great Pumpkin. Who’s the Great Pumpkin? Well for those of you who don’t know who the Great Pumpkin is, I’ll tell you. The Great Pumpkin supposedly a large pumpkin that spends most of his time sitting in the pumpkin patch until Harvest Day night when he rises out of the pumpkin patch and gives toys to all the good little children. There are a group of people known as the Great Pumpkin Foundation (GPF) who are determined to prove that the Great Pumpkin exists. The president of this group is none other than Linus van Pelt. You know him well, remember that kid on Charlie Brown who’s always carrying a blanket? Yep, that’s him. He has always been a strong believer in the Great Pumpkin. Every Harvest Day night, he still waits by the pumpkin patch hoping for his arrival. When asked how long he’d believe in something that supposedly wasn’t true, his response was, “When you stop believing in a fat man with a white beard in a red coat that says, ‘Ho, ho, ho!’” He also is famous for saying, “There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin.” The Great Pumpkin tale has been around for a long time, but there has been no firm proof of the Great Pumpkin’s existence . . . until now! Another advocate of the Great Pumpkin, Jack Stevenson has got firm proof of the Great Pumpkin, so he says. Jack Stevenson is the son of Dr. Steve Stevenson who appeared in our paper a few weeks ago. “I was merely taking a walk by myself one day,” he recalls, “When suddenly I saw something big and orange walking by. I almost didn’t believe my eyes, it must have been the Great Pumpkin!” That is when he took the picture you see above. There are basically two views of the Great Pumpkin, one of course is that of Linus and Jack, they firmly believe in him (they even suggest singing pumpkin carols). But others, such as Lucy van Pelt believes that the Great Pumpkin does not exist but instead, people such as Linus and Jack are confusing the Great Pumpkin and Santa Claus. Anyway, to continue the story of Jack and the Great Pumpkin, Jack says, “So I took the picture and the Great Pumpkin dashed back over to the pumpkin patch. I followed him but by the time he reached the patch, he was already camouflaged with the other pumpkins.” This is the first actual recorded appearance of what could be the Great Pumpkin. We also had a brief interview with Sarah Bus Stop Guy, a 13-year old that lives here in Riverville, near the Great Pumpkin sighting and has the same point of view as Lucy. Sarah doesn’t believe in the Great Pumpkin at all (even though a supposed picture of the Great Pumpkin was found), when asked what her opinion on the Great Pumpkin was, she was quoted to saying, “I think Jack and Linus . . . [have] got the Great Pumpkin mixed up with Santa Claus, cause he’s a myth. Ok, that’s it. You said this was the last question, goodbye!” (She then erupted from her chair and ran to her room) Unfortunately for the GPF, many other people believe that the picture is counterfeit. However, because of Jack’s picture, many scientists, called cryptozoologists, are starting to have greater studies of the Great Pumpkin to see if this vegetable really exists or if instead of a Great Pumpkin, it is really just a Great Fairytale.

Written by: Mr. Smiley

Photographed by: Jack Stevenson

Edited by: Christian Ryan

Weekly Cartoons

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Next Issue: A Politician’s Petition

Tricera-Clash!

A family of Tyrannosaurus rex are preparing to attack a herd of Triceratops

Recently, in the badlands of what is now Montana, scientists have uncovered evidence of a prehistoric clash of the titans! A team of paleontologists, lead by Dr. Samuel Adamson PhD., and his wife Dr. Indiana Adamson PhD., were on a fossil hunt when they found the fossils of not one, not two, but three horned dinosaurs, called Triceratops Horridus were discovered. Triceratops Horridus means “Horrible Three-Horned Face” in Greek and Latin. This find sounded really cool, so my junior photographer, Daniel P. Smithwater and I rushed over to the scene. We interviewed the two paleontologists to get a full scoop on the story. “We were just walking around the site when we noticed a pointed object sticking out of the ground,” recalls Dr. Samuel. “We took a closer look at it and realized that it was actually the horn of a ceratopsian, or horned dinosaur called Triceratops. So that’s what we’ve been digging up lately.” And that’s not all they found – they also uncovered the remains of six predators nearby. They weren’t just any old predators; they were the most famous predatory dinosaurs in – Tyrannosaurus rex! There were two adults, one sub-adult and three juveniles. Dr. Indiana believes that this is more evidence that giant predators such as T. rex, who were traditionally viewed as being solitary hunters, might have hunted, or even lived in family groups. “This is the third find of more than one T. rex at one location,” says Dr. Indiana. “I think this is incredible evidence that dinosaurs like Tyrannosaurus hunted in packs.” Although the T. rex were probably hunting the Triceratops, the paleontologists believe a force of nature killed these behemoths – perhaps the second most terrible event in history (remember, the first most terrible event was the Fall of Man) caused their deaths, and that catastrophe was Noah’s Flood. As the animals were hunting, perhaps the water level rose rather quickly and drowned all these dinosaurs. “The area we are searching in has more fossils than expected,” Dr. Samuel says. “We hope to find many fossils out here that will help us learn more about the dinosaurs living in this environment. We have already learned that this area was covered with grasses and cycads plants in the plains, and a variety of ancient trees formed the forests. One thing we will be especially happy to learn is exactly how many other extinct creatures are out here.” It seems to me that Dr. Samuel and the team still have a lot of digging to do!

Written by: Mr. Smiley

Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan

Weekly Cartoons

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We here at Smiley's Newspaper are looking for people to write for our paper. If you are intersted, please contact the editor at animaladventures@aol.com.

Next Issue: The Great Pumpkin – Myth or Reality

The THINGS We Do For BALLS!!!

The balloon seller, the customers, the balloon cart, AND Buddy went up high into the sky, yes, that's Buddy hanging by his collar (thank goodness he was alright!)

The account you’re about to read sounds pretty ordinary at first, but believe me, I thought this was a pretty remarkable story: one morning in the park, Earl Bradley was walking his dog, Buddy, a Black Labrador. Now a preteen girl named Sarah Bus Stop Guy was rolling a ball around in the park that greatly resembled Buddy’s favorite ball at home. Buddy thought that Sarah’s ball was his own ball so of course he ran after it. Earl tried to grab hold of his leash but he missed, and as he later found out, he was glad he missed! “I really tried to catch Buddy before he got into trouble,” Earl said, “but he is always way too fast for me when he sees something he wants, in this case, his ball. When Buddy wants something, nothing can get in the way!” Then the trouble started as the ball rolled around a balloon sales man and some paying customers. As Buddy chased after the ball, one of the customers saw Buddy was loose and grabbed his collar. Big mistake! While Buddy ran around the balloon cart, the sales man and the customers, Buddy accidentally tripped over a weight that kept the balloon cart on the ground and the cart, the people and Buddy started to rise into the sky! Earl forgot his phone at home so I loaned him mine (see now I’m a hero!). Earl quickly called 9-1-1 and the fire department, police, an ambulance truck, a helicopter flight squad and the Doggy Pants Society rushed to the scene. After it was all said and done, it took a whole 12 hours to get everybody safely down (it turned out the Doggy Pants Society just wanted to take a picture with Buddy and they left the scene). Boy, Buddy is one bad dog!

Written by: Mr. Smiley

Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan

Weekly Cartoons

*ADVERTISEMENT*

We here are Smiley’s Newspaper are looking for people interested in writing for our paper. If you are interested, contact our editor at animaladventures@aol.com. (If you want to speak to Mr. Smiley instead, please say so in your email).

Next Issue: Tricera-Clash!

Elephant Outbreak!

The elephants wrecking the Spooky Day Parade

The morning started normally as my photographer, Daniel P. Smithwater went to go get a report on the Spooky Day Parade. What is the Spooky Day Parade? Well, it is essentially a pre-Halloween parade (A Christian like myself doesn’t really participate in Halloween, considering its deep roots in Pagan customs). This parade has gotten very scary in deed over the years. The costumes get creepier and creepier every time the parade is held. And worst of all, the people in scary costumes often scare little kids. This is terrible considering that it’s normally such a nice day outside. Then, as the parade started to march down the road, Daniel and I were in for a big surprise. Suddenly, coming from the opposite direction, was a herd of African Elephants from the New York Africa Zoo was stampeding down the street and towards the parade. The people ran in all direction, but for some odd reason, the elephants seemed to charge more at the people doing the parade. They went over the floats and used their tusks to tear them apart. Confetti flew around everywhere. Daniel and I would have left with the other spectators, but why miss out on such a good story. And besides, Daniel wouldn’t have gotten the picture above. One of the women spectators said, “AHHHHHH!!!” In other words, we didn’t get much out of her. Most of the Spooky Day Parade marchers escaped before the elephants could hurt them, but two of the spooky dudes got trampled by Martha the elephant. They didn’t get killed, but instead got Floaticus Maximus. This non-life threatening disease makes the person bloat up like a balloon. The two men had to stay in the hospital for two months until they finally shrank back to normal size. No one is quite sure how the elephants escaped their cages. But zookeeper Manny Minlens has a theory. She said, “I’m not exactly sure how the elephants escaped. But they have been playing with the door lock lately. Perhaps they finally figured out how to unlock their own cage. It looks like we’ll have to put a new lock on.” Scientists aren’t sure why the elephants targeted the marchers, but they think it’s because some of the marchers had been eating peanuts, mangoes, bananas and other fruits before marching. The smell of those foods was probably on the floats and attracted the elephants who may have not liked the music the marchers were playing and so they tore up the floats. The elephants were returned to their enclosure at the zoo and it looks like the Spooky Day Parade is cancelled forever. Hooray!

Written by: Mr. Smiley

Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan

Weekly Cartoons

Next Issue: The Things We Do For Balls!