Rerun Article: The Not-So-Bird-Brained Crow

The Crow is a very intelligent bird!

Hey there, this is Lizzy the lizard reporting from around the neighborhood. I've been scouting these common black birds...the crows or are they ravens? I decided to do some research and now have a bit of respect for these feathered creatures. Ravens are taller then crows. An average size of a raven is 25 inches while an average crow's size is 18! Another way to distinguish the difference between the two birds is their beaks. A crow's beak is thicker compared to the ravens long, curved beak. A raven's call is deep and croaking while the crow's sets a type of musical tone. Did you know that these birds have clever ways of getting their food? Most clever ideas deal with opening nuts. Birds dot have a strong beak to break open nuts, like a nutcracker, instead they have to find was to break open the shell. These crows and ravens have many clever ways of getting the nuts. They pick up and nut and fly extremely high ten they drop the nut on a hard surface, breaking the shell. There are reports of crows putting nuts near parked car tires, as the car drove, it would roll over the nut and it would break. I'd have to give that idea a score of 100! Here's a scary fact: crows and ravens are smarter then humans! It's a scientific fact! They have a higher HQ ten you! Anyway, these birds have a very clear and accurate memory. Although you can't remember which crow or raven you've seen, these birds remember your face! If you mistreat one of these birds, they remember your face and tell their offspring and other of their kids. Word gets around that you are dangerous and must be got rid of! So they hang up and attack you! So you better watch out and make sure you treat these feathered friends nicely.

The Raven is a very alert bird

An American Crow near the water's edge

Written by: Lizzy Lizard

Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan, Joy Hammond and Mr. Smiley

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Dr. Steve's New Dinosaurs of 2015

Just like he is every year, Dr. Steve Stevenson, chief geneticist of Animal Adventures Institute (AAI), a division of Animal Adventures Inc. is at it again! Over the past several months since Dr. Samuel Adamson brought back dinosaur fossils from his latest fossil excavation, Dr. Steve and his assistant Oliver Oviraptor have been hard at work cloning a pair of new dinosaurs. The two new dinosaurs that were released from the institute this year are Edmontosaurus annectens and Nanshiungosaurus brevispinus. Edmontosaurus, I've heard of, but I'm unable to say the same about Nanshiungosaurus.

After struggling and failing to pronounce Nan-she-ung-oh-soar-us, I found out my trusty, junior photographer, Daniel P. Smithwater, was feeling a bit sick (there's this nasty bug going around Animal Adventures Inc.), so Lizzy the Lizard came along with me as my photographer to interview Dr. Steve Stevenson at this laboratory. “I'm really excited to have finally cloned the Edmontosaurus,” Dr. Steve says, “I mean, I've literally been trying for years – Years! – to clone this beast. The problem was that even though over the years, Dr. Sam has been finding several Edmontosaurus skeletons (they're very common in the Hell Creek Formation), he never found any with enough Edmontosaurus DNA to use in cloning.”

For those of you who don't know, Edmontosaurus is a large herbivorous hadrosaur – duckbilled dinosaur – from western North America. The Edmontosaurus Dr. Steve cloned has been named Edward (“Eddy” for short) and is 30 feet long, 3 tons in weight and stands 17 feet tall on two legs. He has a broad duck-like bill for eating a wide variety of plants. Paleontologists believe Edmontosaurus lived in large herds of consisting of adults and their young. Fossils reveal that Edmontosaurus was a favorite food of Tyrannosaurus rex.

Oliver is quoted for saying, “The other dinosaur we cloned was a Nanshiungosaurus. It was a therizinosaur from China. We didn't have any Nanshiungosaurus fossils in our collection; instead, we retrieved its DNA from a mosquito embedded in amber we have in the fossil and amber storage room...[we] grabbed a random piece of amber and extracted the DNA from the mosquito inside. We were really excited to see what species we would clone.”

Nanshiungosaurus (named Ning) was 15 feet long and weighed 1,323 pounds. Other than the long neck and pot-belly, Nanshiungosaurus' most striking feature is no doubt the long claws on the hand, used for defense and obtaining tree leaves to eat. Therizinosaurs have been somewhat of a mystery to paleontologists, as it wasn't until recently that we've had skeletons of these animals to study. Before skeletons were discovered, scientists had only fossils of the claws and thought therizinosaurs were ferocious predators. Now we know otherwise.

“I am very excited that we were able to bring these amazing beasts back to life,” Dr. Steve said. “And just wait, because we'll have some equally cool creatures cloned next year!”

Written by: Mr. Smiley

Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan

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Lizzy's Delicious Jello Salad Recipe

“Hi everyone, Lizzy here and I'm going to show you a chilly recipe; just kidding it's not chilly, it's silly. The best Jello salad by Janet Toth. Well, I mean that's what it says in the book.”

“You keep forgetting about me!” Lily explains. “Hi, I'm Lily! I'm Lizzy's smarter sister.”

“You need: 1 (6-oz.) box Jello (strawberry, orange or lime), 1 c. boiling water, 2/3 c. (sm. Can) evaporated milk, ½ pt. Sour cream, Med. Size (approx. 9 oz.) frozen strawberries (or canned mandarin oranges or pears, undrained), thawed but not drained...” Lizzy read. “Hey! Lily, I'm the oldest, I'm supposed to be smarter.”

“Not when it comes to cooking and baking,” Lily mutters with a satisfying smile.

Lily grabbed all the ingredients and put it on the counter.

“First step: mix the jello with boiling water and then add evaporated milk and stir,” Lizzy continues.

She looks around for the spoon.

“Um...what do I mix this with?” Lizzy asks Lily.

Lily sighs and then grabs a metal spoon.

“Next, add sour cream and mix with an electric mixer,” Lizzy continues.

“Oh boy! I get to use my kitchen aid!” Lily shrieks with joy.

Lizzy rolls her eyes and then keeps reading.

“Then add strawberries and juice (or other fruit) and stir it into the mix.”

Lizzy grabs the strawberries and starts to dump them into the mixture.

“Hey! Not so fast!” Lily complained.

Lizzy continues looking at the book.

“Afterwards, spray jello mold with nonstick-cooking spray and pout the jello into the mold. Finally place the mold into the refrigerator until it is set.”

Both lizards but the jello in the fridge and stared at it for a few minutes.

“Is it done yet?” Lizzy asked.

“No.”

“Oh...do you want to play a board game or something?”

Lily nods and they both head off somewhere to look for something to pass the time.

“When it's all done,” Lily informs, “you can take the jello out of the mold and serve it on a bed of lettuce if you want.”

“Why lettuce?”

“Why not? It makes the dish look appealing.”

“Oh...okay. Well that's it for now everyone, I'm Lizzy...”

“and I'm Lily!”

“And we'll see you all next time! Oh and enjoy!” Lizzy ends show.

Written by: Lizzy the Lizard
Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater
Edited by: Christian Ryan, Joy Hammond and Mr. Smiley

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Next Issue: Dr. Steve's New Dinosaurs of 2015

Rerun Article: Sarah's Wild Drive-Off!

The three Dilophosaurus (left and center background), Mr. Fish (front left), Mr. Gregor (center left), Sarah Bus Stop Guy (center right), and the police (left) standing in front of Mr. Peter and his truck in the background.

Here in Riverville, New York, some people can be a little crazy. And this craziness runs in the family. Just this Monday, the P for Prize Toy Company was driving through Riverville to deliver some new toys to a nearby toy store. Little did they know they had a tag-a-long: Sarah Bus Stop Guy. My junior photographer, Daniel P. Smithwater and I know Sarah very well, so we had to hop in on this news. Who’s Sarah Bus Stop Guy? Well, she’s the 12 year old daughter of the Mr. Bus Stop Guy and they are locals of Riverville. (I’m sure the last name sounds a little weird, but rumor has it that it has something to do with Mr. Bus Stop Guy’s previous occupations) Mr. Bus Stop Guy is a little cuckoo you see. So this weirdness must have been passed on to her daughter. So as the P for Prize truck went driving down the road, Sarah opened the trunk so a few things fell out. So when the driver, named Mr. Peter, noticed something was going on back there, he went out to investigate . . . and this is when after he closed the trunk, Sarah hopped into the driver’s seat and drove away! “At first I didn’t know what was happening to my expensive truck,” said Mr. Peter. “I thought I forgot to put the break on until I saw a little figure in the driver’s seat.” Mr. Peter called the police and they were on the hunt. But they couldn’t find her. Fortunately, two other locals named Mr. Fred Fish and Mr. Gregor (he was on the front page a few months prior) saw a large truck driving like crazy down the road and realized that someone they knew was inside! “I knew Sarah was crazy,” says Mr. Fish, “But I had no idea that she was that crazy.” Mr. Gregor said, “After calling the police, all I could do was hope that Sarah would finally learn her lesson after this escapade!” Unfortunately, Sarah was better at driving a truck than you’d think. She just drove around the curvy mountain roads. The police even had trouble getting hold of her. What could anybody do? Well, it just so happened that that day, the Dilophosaurus (Die-LOF-oh-SOAR-us) trio from Animal Adventures Inc. was taking a walk that day on those mountain roads. For those of you who don’t know, Animal Adventures Inc. (aka AAI) is a large company run by Nigel Milligan who is famous for films such as “Animal Face-Off: Lion vs. Tiger” and “Animal Face-Off: Velociraptor vs. Protoceratops”. Now AAI also has an institute called Animal Adventures Institute where they clone extinct creatures such as dinosaurs (and yes, the animals are taught fluid English). So three Dilophosaurus (two males and one female) were taking a walk when they saw Sarah driving the truck down the road. So the three dinosaurs got to action, they ran toward the truck and hitched a ride. They then managed to force Sarah out of the driver’s seat, take the wheel and safely drive the vehicle back to its owner. The female Dilophosaurus, named Dilo, is quoted to saying, “Sarah is a nut-head alright. Believe me, we’ve known Sarah for years, but I never thought she’d do this! Fortunately, we were able to force her out of the driver’s seat. And get the truck back to the owner.” When I asked how the Dilophosaurus how she managed to drive a truck without fully-opposable thumbs, she simply said, “It was ‘interesting’.” After getting the truck back, the Dilophosaurus were each given a free chew toy and Sarah was put in time out. When I asked Sarah about how she felt about her situation, she replied, “Mr. Smiley, you’re so nosy! Bye!” Well, I just hope Sarah learned a lesson from this, because I firmly believe, she’s on Santa’s naughty list this year for sure!

Written by: Mr. Smiley
Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater
Edited by: Christian Ryan

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Rerun Article: Waking the Sleeping Dinosaurs

Dr. Steve (left), Dr. Indiana (center) and Dr. Samuel (right) admiring a fossil bone of an Edmontosaurus

My trusty junior photographer, Daniel P. Smithwater and I both got a kick out of this next story. Dr. Steve Stevenson PhD at Animal Adventures Institute (AAI) is back to his cloning projects. His latest attempt is to clone the extinct creatures brought back from the Adamson’s trip. Dr. Samuel and Indiana Adamson PhD are two married paleontologists who have worked in just about every corner of the world. Recently, their trips to western North America, Russia, and Europe have revealed the fossils of numerous extinct creatures. “I have cloned quite a few other extinct animals, including dinosaurs,” Dr. Steve says. “I can’t wait to get started once again.” The animals brought back from the fossil digs are a large hadrosaur or duckbilled dinosaur called Edmontosaurus, a small pachycephalesaur or bone-headed dinosaur called Dracorex, a large pterosaur or flying reptile called Hatzegopteryx, a sharp-toothed gorgonopsid called Inostrancevia and a turtle-like reptile called Scutosaurus. Dr. Samuel Adamson believes these fossils hold proteins inside them, and proteins could contain DNA, and if we have DNA, then it is possible to clone the dinosaur or other extinct animal. “These fossils weren’t preserved in the best preservation state,” Dr. Samuel says, “but they could be a lot worse. At least we can tell what they are. Some fossils we have dug up in the past are in a terrible state and we can’t give the slightest clue of what it is.” The fossil bones are taken out of the ground and then shipped by helicopter back to Animal Adventures Institute in Riverville, New York. That is when Dr. Steve comes in. He then examines the bones and takes a very thin slice of each species and looks at them under the microscope to see if they are viable for cloning. If they are then he takes the slice, makes a mold for it so it can be put back on the original fossils and then he must extract the DNA out of the bones by using a super computer. Dr. Steve shares the rest of the cloning process, “After the DNA is out of the bone and the computer is finished working on it . . . well, I’m not sure how much you know about genes and DNA, but fossil DNA is not complete. It’s full of fragments. This is what has caused scientists trouble for years!” Dr. Steve has had a rich history when it comes to his cloning experience. In the 1990’s, Dr. Steve was one of the first scientists to help with cloning dinosaurs. He was cloning dinosaurs for a type of zoo called Cretaceous Park and they experienced the DNA gap issues. The head geneist (a gene and DNA scientist) at the time was Dr. Lora Sorkin (contrary to popular belief, she was not killed by a prehistoric creature as everyone believes). She suggested that the park take some time and figure out how to get the full DNA sequence. But the board of directors didn’t want to take that kind of time, so she was “kicked” out of the lab and sent to do field research. Dr. Henri Wu was the replacement chief geneist. He was hired to be chief geneist because he was able to figure out that you could fill the DNA gaps with frog DNA and get the job done quickly. Nowadays though, Dr. Steve had figured out how to fill in those gaps without frog DNA (which can produce some strange dinosaurs). He instead just uses dinosaur DNA from multiple fossil samples of the same species to complete the sequence. “We don’t know yet which of the fossils yield DNA,” says Dr. Steve, “but we also have what I call a ‘fossil storage’ out back where we’ve put all our unidentified bones from previous digs and there’s some pretty cool stuff in there.” What wonders will Steve clone? We’ll just have to wait and see . . .

Written by: Mr. Smiley

Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan

Weekly Cartoons

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