Smiley's News: March 2013

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Sorry for being late!

Hello everyone! Sorry for being late! We here at Smiley's News paper have had some series "computer troubles" and therefore haven't been able to release our newspapers on time. So updating this blog might not be as often as it used to be until further notice!

Sorry for the inconvienience!

Age-Old Jellyfish Visits Animal Adventures Studios

Jello, the 6,000-year old Immortal Jellyfish, he's pretty smart and talkative for a guy with no brain or heart or mouth...

The average lifespan of a human is around 60-90 years. As modern medicine gets better and better, we live even longer. The oldest person alive in “recent” times died at the age of around 120 years old. But that’s nothing compared to heroes of the Bible. Adam, the first man, lived around 930 years. Seth, Adam's third son, lived about 912 years. Noah lived about 950 years and Enoch lived on earth until he reached 365 years of age when God took him away. But the person who’s lived the longest, by no coincidence also has an extremely long name – Methuselah! Methuselah lived to be 960 years old until death. If he had lived another 30 years, he would have been 1,000 years old! But these long-lived people were of Bible times. Animals, even ones living today have some pretty long lifespans as well. Elephants live to be about 80+. Tortoises can live around 200 to perhaps around 250 years old. Many whales can live into their 400’s. The recently cloned sauropods – or long-necked dinosaurs – can live to be 200 years old or more. Recently, a jellyfish by the name of Jello has come to stay at Animal Adventures Studios (the part of Animal Adventures Inc. (AAI.) that does TV broadcasting and movies). He seems like a pretty old guy, so after asking if he’d like to be an interviewee, I asked him how old he is. Jello is quoted for saying, “I am 6,000 years old and counting.” Whoa! Now a lot of people reading that response must be thinking, “this guy needs to go in the Lunacy Aquarium!” At first I thought this was a little weird too so I asked him if he was kidding. “I do not kid,” says Jello. “Many people think I’m hoodwinking them when I tell them my age, but I’m not. You see, I’m from a species of jellyfish called Turritopsis nutricula, or the Giant ImmortalJellyfish. God created us as an amazing breed of jellyfish. See, most jellyfish have a fixed lifespan, but as my species name suggests, we don’t! Whenever we start aging and getting physically old, we have an amazing ability – we just revert back to the polyp or baby jellyfish stage. Then we grow up and get older until we revert again! Isn’t it amazing? The only way we get killed is by predators or illness. But most of us are really, really small, so many of us get eaten easily. Only a few ‘lucky’, or rather, ‘providential’ ones get to such a large size as I am.” I, as the reporter, was shocked that a jellyfish could live so-o-o-o long. I was still curious if the jellyfish was telling a tall tale, but I did my research and found otherwise. In fact, here is the webpage I looked at to see if the jellyfish was telling the truth. And sure enough, there really is a species called the Immortal Jellyfish. Who knew? God actually did create animals with the ability to keep on living. I then asked Jello if other animals have been given this gift. “Well, as you know not many animals can keep on living, but this gift might be shared with another invertebrate that is often served boiled red on a large platter at Red Lobster restaurant. Yes, that’s right, the lobster might also have the ability to keep on living, scientists aren’t yet sure. I guess they might be able to know the answer if they didn’t kill them for food so much!” I then decided to visit AAI.’s leading geneticist, Dr. Steve Stevenson to see what he thinks about this. This was his response: “Not many people know about the abilities of the Immortal Jellyfish. But perhaps these animals will be able to help the human race. You see, if we study the jellyfish to see how they are able to live so long, maybe we will be able to reveal how we humans can do the same. Who knows? These jellyfish could help us a lot!” Who knew a jellyfish could be so fascinating? I guess tales of animals with long lives really are telling the truth and not such a “long-lived tall tale” after all!

Written by: Mr. Smiley

Photographer: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan

*Advertisement*

We here at Smiley’s News, I have been working night and day to get articles ready. I could really use some help! So we are looking for people interested in writing (especially kids and teens). If you are interested, PLEASE(!) send an email to animaladventures@aol.com and save me from working night and day! I’m exhausted!

Weekly Cartoons

Next Issue: Baby Mummysaurus!

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Riverville's Potential is Bunnyville!

The Invasion of the Bunnies! Dr. Elizabeth Sorkin (left) and Nigel Milligan (right) survey the extent of this "bunny migration"

Easter is approaching soon! Soon, people will be having Easter egg hunts and will be going to the mall to have their picture taken with the Easter Bunny. Speaking of bunnies, we can’t seem to get them out of our minds here in Riverville, New York, especially with the latest incident last Saturday! Two of the first witnesses of what was about to happen were Mr. Nigel Milligan, CEO of Animal Adventures Inc. (AAI.) and Dr. Elizabeth Sorkin, lead veterinarian at AAI. They were outside on a stroll through AAI. when suddenly the ground started to rumble (rumble). It shook (shook)! It trembled (trembled)! It shuddered (shuddered)! It shook (shook)! It . . . did I mention shook? “It was a normal day when my employee and friend Dr. Sorkin, decided to take a walk through the campus,” says Nigel. “Then all of a sudden, it felt like a tremor was approaching!” Dr. Sorkin was also surprised by the ground shaking so wildly. She is quoted for saying, “I really had no idea what it was that was approaching AAI. At first I thought it was an earthquake but that was until I saw what was coming over the horizon.” And what to the couple’s wondering eyes should appear . . . but a large cloud of dust and an army of bunnies my dear? Rabbits and hares by the thousands suddenly came stampeding over the hills and toward AAI! As the rabbits ran toward them they had to duck and cover as the rabbits came. They are now everywhere! Another witness, Mr. Fred Fish and his friend Dr. Dodo were also surprised by the appearance of the bunnies. “These bunnies are everywhere!” says Mr. Fish. “I almost feel like the Egyptians must have felt when Egypt became overrun with frogs when God used Moses to cast down the second plague! Except these creatures are much cuter than frogs. But they poop everywhere!” Within ten minutes, thousands of rabbits are hip-hopping across the campus, eating shrubs and other plants. The other animals and people living at AAI. dare not open their doors more than necessary! It’s a good thing most of the creatures and people living here didn’t plant gardens yet, because with these bunnies around, it would be no more! These bunnies are bothering even the largest of creatures. Rachael the female Tyrannosaurus rex, mother of three is very annoyed by this. “I have to be careful every time I step out the door to make sure no bunny rabbits sneak into the AAI. I’m telling you, I’d eat the bunnies if I could, but the thing is that there are so many of them, that if I started eating them, it wouldn’t make a dent in the population. Besides, they are so hard for a big predator like myself to catch.” But the question everyone has is why all these rabbits are here instead of deeper in the forest. Dr. Sorkin has a few theories as to why these rabbits have left the forest where they live and came here. “I have a few theories as to why the rabbits are here instead of in the forest. Lately, a few miles west of here, major deforestation has been happening at an alarming rate. Perhaps these rabbits are ‘refugees’, fleeing the destruction of their homes. We have to find another home for these rabbits before they eat our plant life down to nothing!” The rabbits were getting everywhere and really annoying, so Nigel, Dr. Sorkin, Mr. Fish and Dr. Dodo had a plan! “The plan we have designed,” says Nigel, “is to use the rabbit’s superb sense of smell to our advantage. We have machine here that will emit a smell into the air that the bunnies can’t resist. ‘What smell?’ you ask? Why, carrots, of course! As we all know bunnies can’t resist the smell of carrots if the scent is strong enough. We have been granted permission by the Wildlife Protection Unit of New York State to release these bunnies into one of the national parks where they’ve had a real lack of rabbits lately.” So they turned the machine on, put it on a special truck and started driving away from AAI. The rabbits couldn’t resist the smell and started to follow the truck right out of the AAI. area. Pretty soon the rabbits were led into the forests of the national park and AAI. was saved from complete “de-plantistation”! “I do love rabbits,” says Dr. Dodo. “But we already had enough here at AAI. before that mob came along. I don’t at all miss the smell those rabbits produced! Not one bit!” And with Dr. Dodo, I’d have to agree.