A New Breed of Terrible Lizards!

Dr. Steve has cloned a host of prehistoric creatures: Stegosaurus (left), Guanlong (background), Inostrancevia (front center), Scutosaurus (right front), Dracorex (far left)

Finally, it's time! The moment you all have been waiting for - we finally get to know what Dr. Steve Stevenson, head geneist (a scientist who works with genes and DNA) at Animal Adventures Institute has been cloning these last few months. And it has been a lot. When we heard Dr. Steve was finished with his latest cloning project, my trusty junior photographer Daniel P. Smithwater and I headed over to his lab to check it out. In one of our earlier issues of Smiley's News: Waking the Sleeping Dinosaurs, we discussed that Dr. Steve had just received the fossils from Dr. Samuel Adamson's latest fossil hunting expeditions. Well, those specimens finally came to light. So who are these new creatures? Well, considering I had never seen any of these creatures before, we put that question to Dr. Steve. He says, "We've cloned a host of creatures to live on the planet once again. As you already know, most of the creatures we've cloned here at the institute were brought back from Dr. Adamson's fossil hunt. The one exception is the Stegosaurus. We've had Stegosaurus DNA in the "Fossil Storage" for a long time. I actually forgot it was back there. Most of what's back there is unidentified, so whenever we are going to clone creatures from the "Fossil Storage" we never know what we're going to get!" Then I asked Dr. Steve what was so special about these new animals. "Well, let's start with the Inostrancevia," says Dr. Steve, "she's a member of the gorgonopsid group, that's a group of reptiles that acted a bit like mammals. They grew about as big as a bear and have twice the ferocity in the wild! You might have also noticed that she has a pair of four-inch saber-teeth in her mouth. Saber-toothed cats weren't the only saber-toothed animals around. Our Inostrancevia uses those canines to rip into prey, which would have included another animal we've cloned: Scutosaurus." When I asked him if he was going to feed it to the Inostrancevia, his response was, "Of course not, but that's what they ate in the wild. The Scutosaurus is a turtle-like reptile that weighs a full ton. Fortunately then, that it was a vegetarian!" Then the scientist moved onto the Guanlong, "Guanlong we just cloned might look like an insignificant dinosaur, but it's actually a cousin of the much larger and much more famous Tyrannosaurus rex! The crest on it's head was used for display purposes. That then brings us to our final animal: Dracorex. Now Dracorex has a really interesting full name: Dracorex hogwartsia. The first name is due to its appearance to a medieval dragon and the last name, as you might have guessed, is relating to the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry from the Harry Potter books (which this paper does not endorse, by the way. Check out the link I provided by clicking on "Harry Potter" in the previous sentence). Dracorex was a pachycephalesaur living in North America back when dinosaurs lived on our planet. He's an omnivore and enjoys a mixture of fruits, leaves, nuts, young roots and shoots and insects in his diet." I then recalled the Edmontosaurus he mentioned in the "Waking the Sleeping Dinosaurs" article we had a few months ago and asked why that wasn't cloned. Dr. Steve is quoted for saying, "Unfortunately, the Edmontosaurus specimen didn't yield DNA, so we shipped the fossils off to the Museum of Natural History so they could study them. Whenever our fossils don't yield DNA, we always just send them to museums around the United States so that they may use them." Well, even if the Edmontosaurus wasn't "clonable", I'd say that Dr. Steve has definitely cloned a great set of amazing prehistoric creatures God once created to live on this earth, all those thousands (not millions) of years ago.

Bonus Story: The Pitter-Patter of Tiny Three-Toed Feet

Morgan Parasaurolophus with her parents

Along with the excitement surrounding the new creatures Dr. Steve cloned, there's even more news! The Parasaurolophus eggs we mentioned in the Dinosaurs Reproducing After Their Own Kinds article we had a few months ago finally hatched! Well, one did. Dr. Elizabeth Sorkin (the head veterinarian at Animal Adventures Institute) wasn't sure why the other four eggs didn't hatch, but the proud Parasaurolophus parents are just glad to have been blessed with kids. "We're are just so excited!" says Mrs. Parasaurolophus. "I've always loved babies and this one is no exception! We hadrosaurs (or duck-billed dinosaurs) are famous for our nurturing habits. Did you know that one of my cousins, Maiasaura is named "Good Mother Lizard" because many of their fossils have been found next to neatly arranged eggs?" When asked what they named the newborn, she says, "We decided that she looked an awful lot like a Morgan. Yes, she looks just like a Morgan!"

Written by: Mr. Smiley
Photographed by: Daniel P. Smithwater
Edited by: Christian Ryan

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Star of Wonder, Star of Treasure Discovered!

The three gifts the wise men gave long ago

“Through mountains and valleys it led them each night, a star of most radiant light. The wise men rejoiced as they journeyed afar, to behold such a beautiful star!”

sung by Kathy Mattea

These are the words to a beautiful song called “When They Saw the Star”. This song talks about the wise men that had visited baby Jesus and presented him with gifts. But this is where many people get the Nativity Story wrong: if you were to go out and ask a bunch of people walking down the street right now and asked what they know about the wise men in the Bible, most, if not all of them would say that they visited Jesus in Bethlehem as He laid in the manger. Well, go get your Bible and look in the book of Matthew in the second chapter. That’s where it talks about the wise men. Does it say they visited Jesus in the manger? Read it for yourself in verse 11: “And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary His mother, and fell down and worshipped Him . . .” Does that say anything about a manger? Noooooo! It clearly says that they visited Jesus when he was living in a house with His mother (and His dad too). Yet, we see the wise men visiting Jesus in the manger in television shows, movies, plays, nativity sets and so forth. However, the wise men really did follow a star to find the Child. They followed this star until they finally reached the place where Jesus was. Then they presented Him with three gifts: gold, frankincense and myrrh. We don’t really know how many wise men there were, but since three gifts were given, it is assumed by many that there were three. However, after the gifts are given to Jesus, they mysteriously disappear. As far as we know, they don’t appear in scripture anywhere. They kind of just floated off into the unknown . . . right? That’s what everyone thought until one day, that famed explorer and archaeologist, Indiana James, took a little trip to Vermont to visit his grandparents. While visiting, he went in a little antique shop and saw something in the corner of his eye sitting in a box in the very back of the store (the store was really junky, the antique dealer just bought antiques and piled them into piles or onto shelves in the store, so for the most part she really didn’t know what she had to sell). He took a look at three little “jars” in the box and realized there was something very peculiar about them . . . they looked strangely familiar. “I don’t know how on earth these would have looked familiar to me,” says Indiana James, “considering I really had never seen them before. Maybe it was just pure providence. Yeah, it probably was.” After taking a few minutes looking at the beautiful objects, he opened one of them up to reveal some strong smelling spices. He recognized it as frankincense. He opened another container and realized it was a bright, shiny object called gold. And the final container was filled with myrrh. He instantly knew the kind of find he had made and quickly bought the objects he found. He tried asking the antique store owner how on earth these three objects got from the Middle East to Vermont, she shrugged. So it was up to Indiana James to find the origins of these little “jars” to see if they were in fact the same ones given to Jesus. How would he find out? Well, he first found out where the antique store owner bought the pieces from. She said she had bought them from an old lady who lived up by Champlain Lake. This is what Indiana did with all of the people who had once owned these valuable artifacts. After doing his research (and eventually flying all the way to the Holy Lands), he believes he knows how on earth these pieces made it here to the U.S.: the lady at the antique shop bought the “jars” from an old lady. The old lady got it from a friend of hers who had had it in her family for at least three generations. The “three-generation” family kept the artifacts because a man in their family named Pilot Gorge Kingston, had it in his possessions during his piloting during World War II. How did he receive the treasures? Well, he bought it from a merchant in the Middle East who found the treasures in an old shed. The shed used to belong to a “police” who had confiscated the treasures from thieves who stole it from an emperor who had received the “jars” from a poor man. This is where the story is abrupt. “I looked in all the resources I could find,” says Indiana James, “but nowhere could I find how the treasures got from Jesus’ family to the poor man. All I know is that this poor man lived in the area Jesus grew up in. This mystery will have to wait for future generations to solve it . . . if I don’t discover it before I am dead and gone, that is!” So as the archaeologist says, this mystery will have to wait to be solved. But regardless of how it got from Jesus’ family to the antique dealer, we mustn’t forget that this is not the reason for Christmas in the first place. The real reason for the season is not the wise men’s gifts, instead, it commemorates the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who left His throne in heaven and humbled Himself. He came to earth for one main reason – to die for our sins. He took the punishment for our sins so that we don’t have to. Thanks to Jesus, when we die, we can go to heaven to live with God. Thanks to Jesus, all we have to do to get admittance in heaven is admit that we have sinned and need Jesus’s salvation, next we have to believe that Jesus is 100% God (yet he’s also 100% man), and last but certainly not least, we must confess our faith in Jesus and chose to live for Him. And that’s what Christmas is all about! Have a merry, merry Christmas from all of us here at Smiley’s News!

PS: The wise men’s treasures are now safe and sound in the Riverville Museum of Natural History, thank goodness for that!

Written by: Mr. Smiley

Photographed by: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan

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Reindeer Girl Power! Special Christmas Edition I

Elizabeth Sorkin and a pair of reindeer, Elizabeth is one of the scientists involved in explaining how Santa's reindeer do certain things, such as fly

You know their names, we all know their names. I think just about everybody knows the names of those helpful little animals that, come every Christmas Eve, help Santa Claus pull his sleigh. You know – Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and Rudolph. Those nine reindeer faithfully, every year pull Santa Claus’s sleigh to help him deliver presents to all the children of the world. Over the years, a lot of myths have come up about these deer. One of the biggest myths of all is also the most surprising. How can I break it to you? After careful research, scientists have concluded that Santa’s reindeer buddies aren’t the majestic, awe-inspiring bucks we often see depicted. Instead, these reindeer are majestic awe-inspiring . . . does (pronounced as doehs)! Yes, you did read right. Santa’s reindeer that haul the sleigh full of toys are actually female! How is this possible? Well, my trusty junior photographer, Daniel P. Smithwater and I headed over to Dr. Elizabeth Sorkin, the veterinarian at Animal Adventures Institute to learn about this reindeer myth. Dr. Elizabeth says, “The reason why we now know Santa’s reindeer are female is because of a few reasons. First of all, right after the rut in the winter, male reindeer, like all other deer, lost their antlers, while females keep their antlers all year long. Also, soon after the rut, reindeer bucks are tired from the fighting with other males over females. The reindeer pulling the sleigh have to contend with a load of toys AND a plump little man while they fly through the night air.” After asking why male reindeer are normally what is seen in Christmas movies, she says, “This is because most Christmas movies are actually filmed in the summer. Very few Christmas movies are filmed in the winter. During the summer, reindeer bucks are big and strong, even stronger than the does. So naturally, they choose these deer for the movies and ever since, people have always been confused.” Wow, this is shocking, I mean, we’ve all grown up thinking these deer were male.

On the topic of reindeer, I decided to ask Dr. Elizabeth another popular question came to mind: How do reindeer fly? Dr. Elizabeth is quoted to saying, “A lot of people have different ideas about how reindeer fly. This is because no one knows. I have my own theory: if you’ve ever seen the movie “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”, you’ll recall that Charlie and his grandpa were able to float because of this special drink they drunk. The drink filled them with gas and this was how they could float. (However, unlike the movie, reindeer have more control in the air and don’t have to burp to get the gas out of their body). I did my research and found out that the drink was made from a special type of corn that grows only in below freezing temperatures. It is called Zea mays hellifer, a.k.a. “Magic Feed Corn”. I believe that “Magic Feed Corn” is fed to the reindeer and this is what lifts them off the ground and helps Santa deliver presents to children all over the world.”

Then yet another question that has puzzled me since forever: how does Rudolph’s nose glow? “No one is quite sure why Rudolph’s nose glows the way it does,” she says, “but there are many theories. One theory – the Sun-to-Nose Theory – is that light from the sun, moon, or whatever light source is around hits the nose and something inside the nose makes the light bounce back from the nose and to every other direction. One problem with this theory is that the light from Rudolph’s nose shines on and off, with or without another light source. Another possibly theory is the Hot Nose Theory. This theory suggests that Rudolph’s nose is lit up by the hot air coming out of her nose. Another theory – the Firefly-Nose Theory – is that perhaps inside Rudolph’s nose, there are two chemicals, luciferase and luciferin, the same chemicals that make a firefly’s tail shine. So perhaps this is why her nose glows.”

Wow! We learned a lot about Santa’s Best Friends. Now you know how they fly, what gender they really are and why Rudolph’s nose glows. Most of the reindeers’ names are unisex, so there’s no problem with most of them. If the name “Rudolph” sounds a bit boyish to you, you can simply call her the name in the song that we can now all sing, “Rudolpha, the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose . . .”

A reindeer

Written by: Mr. Smiley

Photographed by: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan

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The New Swimmers (and Squawkers)

Tyler Tylosaurus (top), Leo Liopleurodon (middle) and Dr. Dodo (bottom) are three of Dr. Steve's latest cloned creatures.

Ever since the 1980’s, there has always been a lot of talk about cloning dinosaurs, creatures that haven’t seen the light of day for thousands of years. Yet, only a few companies, such as InGen, a.k.a. International Genetic Technologies, Zoo Tycoon Inc. and of course Animal Adventures Institute, or AAI (the section of the famed Animal Adventures Inc. that studies animals). Even still, out of these few companies, only a “few” species of extinct creatures have been cloned. Why? Well of course you need DNA to clone any type of creature. Most of these cloned creatures have been dinosaurs, but the head scientists at AAI, Dr. Steve Stevenson recently received the fossils from the latest fossil dig of Dr. Samuel and Indiana Adamson PhD and what they brought back aren’t dinosaurs! They are mostly marine reptiles! (Yes, Dr. Steve is still working on the extinct creatures he mentioned in a previous issue of Smiley’s News, but these are the animals he was working on before the animals he mentioned last week, so the ones in today's newspaper were cloned first) “Finally, something other than dinosaurs,” says Dr. Steve, “I was so excited when the latest shipment of fossils came in. Now we can see what I can get out of these bones this time!” A few months after the fossils came in, new creatures were born. The new creatures are Tylosaurus proriger (named Tyler), and Liopleurodon ferox (named Leo). These two creatures are not dinosaurs, but swimming reptiles. Dr. Steve also was able to clone something else from DNA found in the “Fossil Storage”. He explains, “We have an extensive fossil storage out back. The amount of fossils back there has built up over time due to the past digs of my two paleontologists and their team. So we have some pretty neat stuff back there!” And what else should Dr. Steve clone, but one of the most famous of all extinct animals – Raphus cucullatus, aka the Dodo Bird! Yep, now a living breathing Dodo Bird is back from the brink and living at AAI (but more about Dodo Birds later). To find out more about marine reptiles, my trusty junior photographer, Daniel P. Smithwater and I went to interview the creatures themselves. When asked what exactly she is, Tyler is quoted to saying, “I’m a Tylosaurus proriger, not a dinosaur as some people would like to think, but instead, I’m actually a mosasaur, a type of lizard God created to dwell in the ocean.” Yes, you read right! Tyler is a lizard, and a big one at that. When asked about her size, she responded, “Well, I’m a full 50 feet long from nose to tail, and I weigh approximately 10 tons in weight.” I then asked her about some of the “adaptations” God gave her to help her live in the water, as most lizards are land dwellers. “First of all,” she started, “God gave us paddle-like flippers and a shark-like tail to help us propel through the water. I can hold my breath for over an hour if need be. Mosasaurs don’t only come in big packages however, one of my cousins only grew about three feet long and was semi-aquatic. You also may have noticed my jaws and teeth are perfect for chomping down whatever I wrap my teeth around. We were predators back in the day. My kind literally ate anything that moved, even Jaws would have steered away from me! If you were to look in my mouth, you’d see that I have two sets of teeth that I can move independently of each other. And my teeth point backwards, so when I hold onto something, there’s only one way to escape – down the gullet!” We also had a brief interview with Leo the Liopleurodon. When asked if he was related to Tyler, he says, “No, I’m not a mosasaur, I’m a pliosaur. There is a difference. We use our flippers for propulsion, as mosasaurs use their tails.” He also went on to say, “You might also be interested to know that I’m a full 49.5 feet long and I weigh 10 tons as well. Yet, I'm still not yet fully grown. My jaws are ten feet long and full of sharp teeth, as you can see.” And what big teeth Leo has! They are almost a foot long, and that’s not including the root! Leo also says, “We’ve also a fine sense of smell to track down our prey, which in the wild, would consist of big fish, sharks, dolphin-like reptiles called Ichthyosaurs (of course, here at the institute, he doesn’t eat those things), and . . . well, pretty much anything that moved. I especially like squid (this he can eat at the institute).” Now earlier, I did mention Dr. Steve cloned a Dodo Bird, so naturally, my photographer and I went to interview him as well. (He prefers to be called “Dr. Dodo” by the way). He is quoted to saying, “We Dodos don’t have a very good reputation, I mean, almost as soon as humans found the one and only island we live on, they exterminated us! Ever since, we’ve been pictured as fat, clumsy, dumb birds. But this is not true! People seem to assume this because they drove us to extinction. It was their own fault we went extinct anyway. This isn’t very fair anyway! Consider the Bald Eagle, humans almost drove them to extinction and do they call the Bald Eagle dumb? Nope! Not at all! But now that we Dodos are back from the brink, we have a chance to fix our reputation.” When asked how he plans to do that, he responded, “First, we definitely must show our dignity, ‘always dignity’, as my good friend Dr. Dreyfuss always says. Maybe if I learn Tae Kwon Do-do that will help impress some people too.” So Dr. Steve has been busy, busy, busy cloning new (and quite astute, I might add) creatures back from the brink of extinction. In a few weeks, things at the institute will eventually calm down . . . until Dr. Steve’s next batch of extinct creatures is cloned of course!

Written by: Mr. Smiley

Photographed by: Daniel P. Smithwater

Edited by: Christian Ryan

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