Disclaimer: The views
presented in the following article do not represent the views of
Smiley’s News. Please note that they are merely the views of the
interviewee.
Thanksgiving is rounding
the corner. Wait, I’m wrong, it’s here! Oh
the joy! A lot of people will be doing special things for
Thanksgiving this year. Some will be watching football, some will be
doing something special with other family members, some will go over
to a friend’s house. But no matter where you are, there’s one
thing we probably all will be doing this Thanksgiving - eating
turkey! Turkey is prepared in dozens of different ways, most will
probably just lay it out on the table, others will be putting their
turkey in sandwiches, others will have turkey slices, others will eat
theirs right off the bone, and some will even be eating it inside
Apple Pie like my grandma does. Boy, she makes her pie weird too.
Take her crust for instance. In order to get it just perfect, she
takes her false teeth out and . . . wait a minute, I’m getting off
topic here! Anyways, this Thanksgiving, some citizens will be going
to turn Thanksgiving upside-down! At Animal Adventures Inc. (AAI.),
in Riverville, New York, a fowl by the name of Dr. Turkey Curkey
wishes to (naturally) change the Thanksgiving tradition of, you
guessed it: turkey hunting! He’s quoted for saying, “I don’t
like turkey season. Never have. I mean, I’m safe here at AAI., but
I have to be careful where I go when fall comes because it’s not
often that you see a turkey just walking on the sidewalk. I have to
be careful in the spring too.” Dr. Turkey has PhD. in psychology
and human behavioral studies and views turkey season as just a chance
for humans to go crazy. Recently, he had a speech in which hundreds
of regularly hunted and eaten fowl (along with myself and my trusty,
junior photographer Daniel P. Smithwater) gathered to hear him. On
the issue of turkey season (and fowl season in general), he said, “I
believe that the hunting of fowl has gone out of hand. I mean
seriously, turkeys and other fowl are living things just like humans.
We may not be made in God’s image, so it would make since that we
are not treated the same, but still, I firmly believed we are
undertreated.” He also went on to say that even living conditions
for turkeys and chickens on farms are not satisfactory. He believes
they should be cleaned out much more often and they should not be fed
that GMO stuff. “Turkey’s hate the taste of GMO and growth
hormones,” Dr. Turkey says, “but the only reason why we eat it is
because that’s all we’re given.” Dr. Turkey isn’t really for
the eating turkey on Thanksgiving, but he understands that humans
just have a habit of doing that. Not only that, but he also recalls
God’s words to humans in Genesis 9:3, “” On Thanksgiving Day
though, he recommends another thing to do instead of killing “poor
and innocent” turkeys. “Instead of killing turkeys,” he says,
“humans should be generous and adopt a baby turkey for a
Thanksgiving tradition. I mean, compared to animals such as dogs and
cats, turkeys require much less care. Humans don’t have to brush
them, pay for weekly visits to the vet, pet them often, play with
them often, buy toys for them and etc. Turkeys, chickens and other
fowl make much better pets than food. We turkeys are generally looked
down on, but it wasn’t always this way. As a matter of fact,
Benjamin Franklin wanted the national bird to be a turkey instead of
a bald eagle. Here, check out this quote from a letter he wrote to
his daughter named Sarah Bache on January 26, 1784. He wrote:
‘Others object to the
Bald Eagle, as looking too much like a Dindon . . . For my own part I
wish the Bald Eagle had not been chosen the Representative of our
country. He is a Bird of bad moral character. He does not get his
living honestly. You may have seen him perched on some dead tree near
the river, where, too lazy to fish for himself, he watches the labour
of the fishing hawk[Osprey]; and when that diligent bird has at
length taken a fish, and is bearing it to his nest for the support of
his mate and young ones, the bald eagle pursues him and takes it from
him. . . . he is generally poor and often very lousy. Besides he is
a rank coward: the little king bird not bigger than a sparrow attacks
him boldly and drives him out of the district. He is by no means a
proper emblem for the brave and honest Cincinnati of America who have
driven all the king birds from our country . . .
I am on this account . . .
displeased that the figure is . . . known as a bald eagle . . . For
in truth the turkey is in comparison a much more respectable bird,
and withal a true original Native of America. . . He is besides . . .
a bird of courage, and would not hesitate to attack a Grenadier of
the British Guards who should presume to invade his farm yard with a
red coat on.’
So as you can see, I
firmly believe the turkey, and all other hunting/eating birds, need
more respect than they are getting.” Wow! What a powerful speech
for such an . . . amazing bird. So why not get a pet turkey? Look around the area where you live for farms that sell turkeys. Before the
interview, I had no idea how game birds felt. I guess Dr. Turkey
really is a motivational speaker . . . or is that gobbler?
Written by: Mr. Smiley
Photographer: Daniel P.
Smithwater
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Next Issue: Pie in a Glass and Turkeys?!? Oh MY!
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